


Building Heaven

by velvetjinx



Category: NCIS
Genre: First Time, Fluff and Smut, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, bisexual realisation, headcannoned up to the start of season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-03
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-31 09:49:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1030253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velvetjinx/pseuds/velvetjinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony discovers something about McGee, which leads him to discover something about himself.</p><p>Title is paraphrased from William Blake's The Clod and the Pebble, because for me it embodies Tim and Tony's (respective) points of view on love when the fic opens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Beta'd by Kip, whose journals I've lost track of due to me being ill and not being able to keep up with the internet for a while. :(
> 
> Edits have been made since; all remaining mistakes are mine.

Tony sighed and rolled his shoulders, wincing at the clicks in his neck. He supposed that he should feel like a hero; he had thrown himself in front of a young woman as the bomb had gone off, shielding her from the worst of the blast. Of course, that meant that he had caught it, but thankfully there hadn’t been any shrapnel damage; it had merely thrown him backwards. Gibbs had even forgone smacking him upside the head in his concern, but he had been very lucky, even escaping concussion. 

He wondered how many times a person could get that lucky before their luck ran out.

He pulled his t-shirt off over his head, closing his eyes against the pain. He may have escaped concussion and any open wounds, but his whole body felt like one big bruise. All he really wanted to do was have a long, hot shower and….

The knock at the door startled him, and he automatically grabbed his gun before walking carefully over to the door. When he looked through the spy hole, however, he gave a long-suffering sigh and yanked the door open.

“What do you want, Probie?” He could hear the exhaustion coloring his voice, but couldn’t bring himself to care.

McGee just stood there, something that looked like shock on his face. Tony rolled his eyes.

“McGee!” The probie jumped as thought startled out of his thoughts, and Tony wondered – not for the first time – if McGee’s high intelligence was just a cover up for simple mindedness. 

“Sorry, Tony, I…” McGee colored, and Tony’s eyes widened incredulously.

“Are you _blushing_ , McGee?” Suddenly realizing how he’d answered the door, he laughed. “Aw, I’m sorry, Probie, does my manly chest insult your maidenly virtues?”

“Shut up, Tony.” McGee’s blush deepened and Tony smothered a laugh. “I just came to see how you were, but I guess I’ll know not to do _that_ again.” He turned quickly to go, but not before Tony had seen the flash of hurt on the other man’s face.

“Hey, come on, McGee, I’m sorry.” He reached out and grabbed Tim’s arm, trying to look as contrite as possible. He knew turning on the charm wouldn’t work with McGee, so he went for sincere. He wasn’t sure it would work, since he hadn’t been sincere for the last few weeks, since Jeanne, but when McGee relaxed and turned towards him again, he had to stifle a sigh of relief.

He opened the door wider, and raised an eyebrow invitingly, smiling to himself as McGee ducked his head and walked into his apartment. 

“I’m surprised you kept this place, after…” McGee trailed off, blushing again.

“It’s okay, Probie, you can say it: _“after the girl of my dreams left me because I lied to her for the whole of our relationship to get to her father”_. That about sum it up?” McGee looked stricken, and Tony, feeling generous (or maybe just too tired to tease), took pity on him. “Hey, it’s okay, man. I mean, if you’d said that to me six weeks ago I would have hit you, but it’s...” He paused as he realized that he was opening up to _McGee_ of all people – he decided to blame the large number of pain-killers he’d taken, making him talk more than he should – but it felt good; cathartic. Plus there was the added bonus of making Ziva mad if she found out that he had talked about it, just not to her. 

“It’s getting better,” he said quietly. “I mean, it’s hardly sunshine and roses, and the memories here sometimes get too much, but she did say that she wasn’t coming back, and I had to make a choice.” He glanced up and saw McGee looking at him in confusion. “Oh, yeah, that’s what she wrote in her letter. But you know me, Probie; I’m a commitment-phobe, so screwed up I’d rather stay with a job which’ll probably get me killed than go and live my life with someone I loved.” He drew a hand down his face, suddenly exhausted, and slightly worried how much of his pride this doped-up confession would cost him tomorrow. Not wanting to look at McGee’s face and see pity, he put a hand on the probie’s back and guided him gently towards the door. “Look, man, I appreciate that you came over and everything, but I’m really tired and under the influence of _way_ too many painkillers, and I’ll probably have to headslap you at _least_ an extra fifteen times tomorrow to make up for this.” He glanced up and saw a small understanding smile on Tim’s face.

“No worries, Tony. Just…thought I should make sure you were all right.” Something in McGee’s smile almost made him pause; almost made him take back his wish for Tim to leave and offer him a beer instead, but a giant yawn brought him to his senses. 

McGee laughed. “Go get some sleep, Tony,” he said as he left. Closing the door, Tony leaned against it for a moment before staggering tiredly over to his bed and falling asleep, not even bothering to remove his pants.

***

The next morning, Tony arrived at work, a little worried about how McGee would act around him. He’d always had the probie’s respect – well, sorta – and he hated the idea that Tim would think any less of him because of his uncharacteristic show of emotion the previous evening. 

He needn’t have worried, however. Probie was the same as he ever was: all geek-speak and raised eyebrows whenever Tony said something. Even Ziva didn’t seem to have picked up on anything strange, which was a wonder. But Gibbs wasn’t in yet, and Gibbs… Well, he knew everything. He hoped that as long as he didn’t say anything, and McGee didn’t say anything, Gibbs wouldn’t be able to figure it out.

To Tony’s eternal surprise, he didn’t, and although the day was quiet due to having absolutely no cases, by the time he went home he was feeling more at ease with himself than he had in months. He kicked his heels up on his coffee table and opened his beer, smiling to himself, before putting on ‘The Sting’.

***

“I heard that McGee is writing a new book.”

Tony turned his head sharply to look at Ziva as she leaned over him with a smug look, one hand planted on his desk and the other on the back of his chair.

“No way. After last time?” Tony chuckled. “Does he know what Gibbs will do to him if he finds out?” 

“Do to who, DiNozzo?”

“Uh, nothing, boss.” Tony said quickly, shooting a guilty look at Ziva. “So, any new cases?” Gibbs was doing that staring thing again so Tony just gave him his standard ‘aw, shucks’ look until Gibbs rolled his eyes and starting talking about a Marine’s body which had been found in a rubbish dump in Virginia. 

***

The thought of the new book played on Tony’s mind all day. Despite – or perhaps because of; thanks to insane crime fiction readers – the fiasco surrounding the draft of _Rock Hollow: The continuing adventures of L.J. Tibbs_ , McGee had gone on to publish it as yet another bestseller. Tony wasn’t sure how, but there it was. He’d had to read it, of course, since one of the characters was basically him. And he had to admit, he kinda liked how McGee wrote him: suave, handsome; a womanizer, sure, but written in a way you couldn’t help but like him. There had even been a scene where Special Agent McGregor had gone to him for help because, to quote, “McGregor knew that no matter how much of an ass Tommy could be, he was a superb agent who knew what he was talking about and, although he would never tell him, McGregor looked up to the older agent a lot”.

_Superb agent_. Ha, good to know that Probie had good judgment. 

Still, there had been a mention of someone that ‘McGregor’ – read ‘Probie’ – had feelings for in the last book but that he could never tell. This was, frankly, too good to let go and Tony had the feeling that even if it was conveniently ‘forgotten’ in this next book, it would be somewhere in Tim’s notes, and Tony _had to know_. A plan for getting his hands on these notes began to form, and he grinned to himself. Oh, yes, he would find out who Tim was infatuated with and tease him until the end of time.

***

McGee’s door was ridiculously easy to get through, Tony mused as he effortlessly picked the lock, before pushing the door open as softly as possible. He listened carefully for any clue to where the probie was – if he was playing one of his geek games Tony was screwed before he’d even started – but the sound of a shower running reached his ears and he grinned. Easy as pie.

Tony took a moment to wonder if he should have stopped off for pie first.

He crept towards the probie’s desk. Bypassing the pile of actual manuscript papers on the table next to the typewriter, he went straight for the folder where he knew he’d find McGee’s ideas and ‘free writing’. Grinning, he opened it and began to flick through the paper inside, searching for any mention of….

He stared at the page in front of him, unable to quite believe what he was reading. The probie must have known that he was going to be snooping in his notes and put this in as a joke. It was the only explanation. He blinked and read the page again.

_It was night in the office and everyone had gone home. Everyone, that is, except for McGregor and Tommy. They sat in companionable silence for some time, finishing their notes from the case before Tibbs got mad._

_As the evening wore on, however, McGregor found himself becoming more and more restless being in the same room as Tommy for so long without another agent as a buffer. Finally, unable to take the frustration, he grabbed his jacket._

_“You going home?” Tommy’s voice after so much silence surprised him and he turned quickly._

_“Um, yeah.” He swallowed. “I’m pretty much finished now. See you tomorrow.”_

_He walked as quickly as he could towards the elevator, but before the doors could close, Tommy nipped in. McGregor opened his mouth to ask if he had finished his notes, but before he could say anything Tommy had switched off the elevator and was crowding him against the wall._

_“Uh, T-Tommy?” he stuttered, unsure what was happening._

_“You know, Probie, I’ve seen you watching me.” Tommy said, a calculating look in his eyes._

_“I don’t watch…” McGregor shuddered as Tommy pushed right into his personal space until there was hardly a breath between them._

_“You do,” Tommy said, his mouth so close to McGregor’s ear that his lips brushed it with every word. “And I think I know why.” Tommy pushed even closer and McGregor shut his eyes in humiliation, knowing that Tommy wouldn’t be able to miss the fact that he was hard. “I know you want me,” Tommy breathed, moving his head slightly, and suddenly they were kissing. McGregor moaned into the kiss and shifted, this new position bringing to his attention the fact that he was not the only one aroused. Too afraid to ask questions now, in case Tommy freaked out, he brought one had down from where it had been frantically clutching the back of Tommy’s neck to his zipper._

_“This okay?” he asked, his mind begging for Tommy to say yes._

_“God,_ please _, Probie.” Tommy’s pupils were blown and his face flushed. McGregor knew he’d never seen anything so gorgeous in his life. He began undoing the fly on Tommy’s jeans…._

Tony swallowed, emotions he couldn’t quite figure out flooding through him. As quietly as he could, he put all the papers back, placed the folder on the table where he had found it, and left quickly.

He suddenly realized that he was in his car without actually knowing how he had got there. He didn’t remember walking down from Tim’s apartment to the parking lot, or getting into his car. The words on the page felt burned into his brain and he rubbed his forehead in an attempt to clear them. Tim couldn’t feel like that about him, surely. He wasn’t gay. He’d had that thing with Abby, and then there was the cancelled date with the really hot ice princess last year, and there was no way this was _anything_ , right? Just McGee messing around, and….

Tony laid his head against the steering wheel as he was assailed by a flood of memories: the probie leaning close into Tony’s personal space a _lot_ ; the way he would watch Tony sometimes when no-one was looking, which Tony had attributed to suspicion, but now he wasn’t so sure; the way the probie had been last year when he was with Jeanne – stand-offish, almost, and dating a lot of different women which really wasn’t like him; Tim’s face when Tony had answered the door shirtless and he had come over to check that Tony was all right….

Fuck. Tony sat in shock as it sank in. McGee was into him, and Tony had absolutely no idea what he was going to do.

***

Tony knew _exactly_ what he was going to do: he was going to forget the whole thing ever happened, and put it down to an insane dream, because there was absolutely no way that Probie felt that way about him. They had been working together all day trying to find leads on this new case and there had been absolutely no sign that McGee felt anything towards him other than a little respect and a lot of exasperation. 

“Hey, Tony.” He nearly jumped a mile into the air as McGee’s voice came from close by his ear. He turned round and glared at the probie who was leaning right over his chair, face close enough that if Tony just moved forward….

Wait. No. Because that was _never_ going to happen.

“Jeez, McGee, you trying to give me a heart attack? What do you want?”

“Shut up, Tony,” McGee said in a scathing tone. But Tony could see a slight color to his cheeks which hadn’t been there a second ago and Tony wondered if he’d realized the same as Tony – that just a little shift on both their parts would bring their mouths together, just like on that page….

“So, um, I realized something and I’ve been running it through my computer…” Tony shook himself and listened as McGee talked way too fast – a nervous habit, and there wasn’t really a good reason for McGee to be that kind of nervous around Tony any more – and tried to focus on solving the case.

***

It took two weeks of long hours before the case was finally closed, and Tony was going crazy. Everywhere he looked, there was McGee – which, okay, could be because they worked on the same team, but even so it was driving Tony nuts. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it because, well, Tony may have been an ass but he wasn’t about to broadcast Tim’s private business all over the office. Not when it was something like this. Telling everyone that Tim was gay when it was all evidence to the contrary and he knew it wasn’t true, that was one thing. But this? Even Tony wouldn’t sink so low.

What had happened the previous night, Tony decided, was definitely because the whole thing had taken over his brain. There was no other explanation for what had happened. But even as he tried to put it out of his mind, the memory popped back in Technicolor and Surround Sound.

_It felt like he hadn’t relaxed in a week. Tony began stripping for bed and, when his nail dragged on one of his nipples as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, he realized that he hadn’t relaxed like_ that _in far too long. He thought about going out and finding some cute young thing to scratch the itch, but it was late and he was exhausted, so he figured he may as well do it himself._

_He finished stripping and lay down on his back, starting to tease himself as he brought to mind images of girls he’d dated in the past: warm, soft bodies, their breasts heavy in his hands, their mouths wet around his dick…_

_He spat into his palm and began stroking himself slowly, bringing his other hand down to play with his balls. Biting his lip, he thought of the way those girls felt inside as he fingered them and then fucked them – tight and hot and wet and ohgod. He bit his lip as he felt his orgasm building – it had been too long for him to last more than a few minutes – and suddenly his brain supplied an image of him crowding McGee up against the wall in the elevator and kissing him breathless, cocks rubbing together as they frantically tore at each others’ clothes and McGee put a hand around both of them and started to stroke – and Tony came without warning; head thrown back, toes curling, teeth almost biting right through his lip._

_Fuck._

_He lay for a while, sweat and spunk cooling on his belly, before pushing those thoughts – he refused to call them fantasies – out of his mind and heading in to the bathroom to shower._

“Tony.” McGee’s voice came from right by his ear and Tony nearly jumped ten feet. 

“Jeez, McGee, again? Why do you keep jumping me from behind; you taking lessons from Gibbs?” Tim blushed, and Tony cursed himself for his choice of words, and for making Tim blush, because dammit, it was _not_ adorable. He scowled and McGee looked alarmed.

“I’m sorry, Tony, didn’t realize that trying to get your attention would make you so mad.” There was a hint of bite in his voice and Tony stifled a grin. Whatever this thing was, it hadn’t changed that.

“Just give me a warning next time, huh? So what did you want?”

McGee started telling him about something Abby had found on an ongoing case they were working on, and Tony tried to concentrate on that and not how Tim would look, naked and wanting, because Tony didn’t do that. Not with guys, not with co-workers. No matter what that perverse part of his brain kept telling him, he did not want to have any kind of sex with McGee. 

He did _not_.

***

Tony was amazed that Gibbs hadn’t noticed anything. There had been so much tension between them that Tony had taken to avoiding McGee whenever he could without making it seem too obvious. Every time he closed his eyes he was overwhelmed with images of he and Tim kissing, of them naked, of him bending Tim over one of the desks in the squad room and….

Yeah, Tony was in _way_ over his head. It made no sense, because he’d always been such a ladies' man, but this… Disturbing as the images were, they got him hotter than anything had for a while, since he’d broken up with Jeanne. And it wasn’t even like he knew what two guys could do. He knew the basics, sure, who didn’t? But there had to be more than jerking off and… _that_ , the thought of which was still actually freaking him out a little because sure, it was fine if he was doing that to Tim, but what if he wanted to do it the other way around? 

Tony, ever resourceful, decided that some research was in order. 

As soon as he got home that night (or, well, 2am, but that was still pretty early when they were in the middle of a case, so it still counted) he went on the internet, looking for a site where he could get something anonymously and preferably for free. He found a site which looked a bit strange, called ‘Gay porn for girls’ – and what, girls watched gay porn? What the fuck was up with that? – but it had some interesting looking stuff on it so, after a quick search through, he downloaded a few files and sat down to watch. 

Five minutes later he sat in front of his laptop, shirt unbuttoned and fly undone, massaging his swollen cock through his boxer briefs as he watched two guys – two really hot guys, if Tony was being honest – naked and stroking and _biting_ , Jesus. One of the guys turned over on his front and Tony watched, thinking that this was it, he was finally gonna get a demonstration of actual sex between two guys. But then the other guy leaned down and starting licking at the other guy’s ass, spreading the bottom’s ass cheeks and licking him open, fucking him with his tongue, and Tony knew that he should feel totally grossed out but it was just so. Fucking. Hot. He couldn’t help but feel seriously turned on, and it was weird. It was like, he was _licking_ his _ass_ which couldn’t be anything but disgusting, but here he was with his dick in his hand so fucking turned on he could barely see. 

But then. Ohgod, then the top started pressing slick-looking fingers into the other guy’s ass before turning him over and pushing his _cock_ in. Tony found himself wondering how it felt to have something up… _there_ , and decided that, being an adventurous type, he should find out. He brought his left hand up to his mouth and sucked his finger into his mouth, getting it as wet as he possibly could before trailing it down to his ass. He teased his hole briefly, gasping in surprise at the unexpected pleasure, before pushing in gently. 

It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant. He held still for a moment, adjusting, and then started moving his finger in and out. It didn’t stop being weird, but it was still getting him pretty hot. He stroked his cock harder and moved his finger faster to the soundtrack of grunts and moans on his laptop and came messily all over his sofa.

“Fuck.” He wiped himself off with his shirt before tossing it towards his bedroom door. So he definitely wasn’t a hundred percent straight, then. He couldn’t understand how he had got to the age he was without realizing this about himself, but there it was. Maybe some people just took a little longer to realize these things? But the problem was, now that he knew, what the hell was he supposed to do about it?

***

Tony had only just sat at his desk the next morning when Gibbs appeared, looking worried. 

“Grab your gear; Abby’s just had the results back on the DNA test.”

“Whose was it?” Tony asked, racing with Ziva and McGee to catch up with Gibbs at the elevator.

“Corporal Dent.”

Tony stared at Gibbs. “His best friend?”

“Yup,” Gibbs nodded. “And he’s gone AWOL, but there’s a report of him being spotted in Shenandoah National Park. Possibly armed.”

Tony nodded, mouth set in a grim line, as the jumped into the car and Gibbs pushed the pedal to the floor.

****

Tony ran as fast as he could, passing Ziva and Gibbs as they ran towards Tim’s prone body. They had all heard the shot but Tony refused to believe that Tim could be… Oh, god, it was just like Kate all over again and Tony couldn’t stop it and what if Tim died, what the hell was he going to do? He skidded to his knees beside Tim, ignoring the stinging pain in his knees, and rolled him over, feeling for a pulse. As Tony’s hand touched Tim’s neck, the probie let out a shaky breath and Tony felt his heart restart. 

“Tim?” 

McGee stared up at him, blinking. “Tony? What…?”

“Hey, shh, don’t move. You’ve been shot, man.” He pulled open Tim’s jacket and shirt, staring in disbelief as he got to the bullet-proof vest. “You wore a vest.” Tony felt hysterical laughter bubble up in his throat, stopped only by the arrival of Ziva and Gibbs. He stepped back and let the others tend to Tim while he tried to calm his racing heart. He called the paramedics – Tim may not be bleeding, but he could have a concussion – and sat by as McGee and Ziva and Gibbs joked about it, trying to ease the tension.

When the paramedics arrived, Tony didn’t want to let McGee out of his sight. Luckily they decided not to take him into hospital, after ascertaining that he didn’t have a concussion, thank god. Ziva tried to convince Tony to go and get his knees seen to – he had really scraped them when he had skidded, and they hurt like a bitch – but Tony was adamant that, um, _no_.

“It would be a blow to my manly pride!” he said, puffing out his chest.

“What? Why?” Ziva looked incredulous.

“Because, _Ziva_ , it’s just a couple of scratches, like a kid would get from falling off a bike or something. You don’t need a paramedic for that!” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see McGee watching the exchange with a small smile. At least they were cheering him up, so he continued. “Imagine if James Bond had gone to a paramedic every time he got a scraped knee. He never would have saved anyone from Russians. Or crazy scientists. You know why? Because no-one would ever have been afraid of him!”

“I don’t think anyone’s afraid of you, Tony.”

Tony hid a smile and turned around. “Yeah, McGee? You never met any of those guys I busted in Baltimore.”

“Yeah, I’m sure all those insane murderers were really scared.” There was a twinkle in McGee’s eye, and Tony had a sudden realization that if McGee had been a girl, he would have called this flirting. As it was, he had no idea _what_ to call it. He decided to keep playing, see how far he could push it.

“You’re damn right, McGee. It’s ‘cause they recognized that I am not someone to be messed with.”

“Oh yeah? Why is that?” McGee was out-and-out smirking now, but the twinkle in his eyes had turned into something… _darker_.

Unable to resist, Tony stalked over to where McGee was sitting on the ambulance step and leaned against the side, causing Tim to look up and Tony had a vision of Tim on his knees, looking up with that exact same expression before reaching for his fly… He pulled that thought up short and smiled darkly at the probie.

“Because they knew that I would be relentless in catching them,” he said, his voice dropping deeper, more gravelly. “When I set my sights on someone, McGee, I don’t give up until I’ve caught them.” He watched McGee swallow hard before turning to where Gibbs and Ziva were in conversation with Ducky about the bastard who had shot at McGee, and who, thanks to Gibbs, hadn’t lived to tell the tale. “Hey, boss,” he yelled, motioning towards McGee when the boss looked over. “Is McGee okay for me to take him home?” He could see McGee’s reaction to his deliberate choice of words and felt his lips twitching.

“Yeah, sure,” Gibbs called back, before turning back to Ducky. 

The paramedic came up to him with a serious look on his face. “Now, make sure that as soon as you get him home he goes straight to bed and doesn’t overexert himself.”

“Sure thing,” Tony said, grinning at the paramedic before hauling Tim to his feet. “C’mon, Probie, let’s do as the paramedic says and get you into bed.” He ignored Tim’s spluttering and dragged him towards the car.


	2. Chapter 2

The ride home was quiet; despite the humor and flirting, Tony was still pretty shaken up about the whole thing. He could have lost Tim, just like that, never having said anything to him about…about whatever it was that this thing had become. As soon as they reached the door of McGee’s apartment, however, Tim turned to him with a wary look in his eyes. 

“You don’t have to come in, you know, Tony. I can take care of myself.”

“I’m sure you can, Probie, but doctor’s orders say I have to take care of you.” Tim shrugged and opened the door, and Tony followed, closing it sharply behind him. “And the first thing I have to do,” he breathed, stalking towards Tim and pushing him up against the wall, “is put you to bed.” 

“T-Tony?” Tim’s eyes were wide with confusion, but his pupils were blown wide and a flush was traveling up from his neck, over his cheeks.

Tony leaned in and spoke into McGee’s ear, just like on that damned page, making sure his lips brushed skin with every word. “You know, we could have lost you out there today if you hadn’t been wearing that vest.” He paused, trying to clear the residual panic from his mind. “Do you know how that feels?” He drew back, looking into slightly guarded eyes. “God, you drive me insane,” he breathed, before leaning in and touching his lips to Tim’s.

For a moment, nothing happened. For a moment, Tony wondered if he was going to have to high-tail it out of there and quit his job and never show his face again because he had somehow got this whole thing all wrong. But only for a moment, because then Tim’s mouth softened against his, and they moved, and suddenly they were kissing for real.

Tony couldn’t help but overthink the whole situation; it was his first time consciously kissing a dude, for Christ’s sake, and it all felt really, really strange. There was stubble, and since McGee was slightly – only slightly – taller than him, Tony had to lean up a little, which, weird. There was no real softness; sure, McGee wasn’t the skinniest guy ever, but there were no curves when Tony pressed harder against him. It felt…not wrong, exactly, but it was different enough that Tony felt himself starting to panic. Tim must have felt it too, because a second later he was pushed backwards.

“Tony.” Tim’s voice was rough, breathless. “What are you doing?” His eyes were wary, but hopeful, and Tony chose his words carefully, knowing that the wrong words could destroy whatever this was.

“Honestly?” Tim nodded. “Honestly, I don’t know, exactly, but I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t…” He sighed, trying to figure out how to word what he was feeling, but before he’d managed he felt Tim trying to escape from under his arms. Tony had never been a big thinker, but he always trusted his instincts, and right now his instincts were telling him that to let Tim go would be a bad idea, so instead he crowded back in to Tim’s space. He could feel McGee shaking underneath him, and knew that although this could turn out to be the worst idea he’d ever had, he had to try. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” He laughed. “God, Probie, you know how I feel about this stuff…” Tim raised an eyebrow and he grinned. “Sharing feelings, that kind of thing. To be honest, it makes me hugely uncomfortable and I don’t know that I can do it now. But I meant what I said. I want this.”

“So you expect me to believe that Tony DiNozzo, who never met a cute girl he didn’t like, suddenly decided that guys were an option?” Tim’s laugh was brittle. “And you suddenly want to…whatever…with me?” His eyes narrowed. “How did you even know that I would be into it?”

“I, uh….”

“Tony?” Tim’s voice was pure suspicion, and Tony didn’t have a credible lie.

“I maybe found a scene from your new book which had an interesting interaction between McGregor and Tommy,” he said quickly, watching Tim’s eyes darken again, this time in anger.

“You looked through my stuff? Jesus, Tony! And, what, you thought you’d play a little game with me?” He looked so hurt that Tony felt… _something_ …stirring in his chest.

“No, McGee, you’ve got me all wrong. This isn’t a _game_.”

“Then what the hell is it?”

“It’s me wanting you and not knowing what to do with it! You have no idea what… Ever since I read it I’ve had these thoughts, and you know, it’s been really uncomfortable because I’ve had to try and hide a hard-on from Gibbs pretty much every time you looked at me. Haven’t been this bad since I was a teenager. I even downloaded gay porn in case it was a fluke, and do you know what? It wasn’t! I mean, how the hell do you get to my age and not know this about yourself?” He had backed up as he spoke and was suddenly feeling lost, hoping McGee had the answers to the questions which had been bothering him since this whole thing started. He was barely aware of Tim coming up behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t know, Tony.” He heard Tim sigh. “But maybe we should think about this before we do anything, huh?”

Tony shook his head. “I’ve already thought about it, Tim, and I just…” He trailed off. “Today, I thought you’d been killed, and I just went crazy, and all I could think about was how if you died I wouldn’t know what I’d do.” He turned around, cupping Tim’s face in both hands. “And if you don’t want this, tell me, because I am scared enough about this whole thing without having you _mmph_!” Tim had been watching him consideringly as he spoke and had suddenly dragged him forward, pulling him into a kiss. His eyes slipped closed as he lost himself in the feel of Tim’s lips on his, of the light scratch of stubble on his chin. He only just managed to catch himself in time from moaning with loss when Tim pulled back. Unlike last time, though, Tim’s eyes were full of mischief rather than distrust. 

“So do you think this would count as over-exerting myself?”

“Oh, shit.” Tony had forgotten that Tim was supposed to be taking it easy. “Hey, maybe you’re right…”

“Tony, I was kidding.” He smiled, before his look turned more serious. “But you’re gonna have to tell me how far you want this to go, because…”

Tony nodded, suddenly extremely nervous. “Let’s just see how things go, yeah?” 

Tim smiled and, after grabbing Tony’s hand, led him through to the bedroom. Tony tried not to think about how his palms were sweating, or about how he was about to be naked with another guy in a non-locker-room-after-football kind of way. But as soon as they were there Tim kissed him again, and for a few minutes Tony’s world was soft lips and whimpers and rough hands on his face. When he felt those hands coming up to unbutton his shirt he made a noise which to his dying day he would deny was a squeak, and almost pulled away, but Tim brought one hand up to cup the back of his head and keep him in place and, yeah, he wasn’t going anywhere. Then his shirt was off his shoulders, and somewhere in his mind was the logic that it wasn’t fair that he was the only one shirtless, so he began to unbutton Tim’s shirt. He started from the top, and felt Tim starting from the bottom. When their hands met in the middle they joined and pushed his shirt off together. Then Tim was pulling of his undershirt and finally, _finally_ , they were skin on skin. 

He was aware of being moved backwards before his legs hit the bed and, surprised, he sat with a thump, but Tim’s lips never left his. He scooted backwards and Tim climbed on top of him, straddling him. He felt Tim’s cock pressing against his stomach and had a moment to think how utterly bizarre it was before Tim’s hands were on his fly and all coherent though flew from his head. 

He felt his fly being unbuttoned, then his pants and boxers being pulled down over his hips. He lifted up, trying to help, but they still got caught around his knees, and suddenly they were both laughing. Tony looked up at Tim, and his breath caught in his throat at the look in Tim’s eyes. Then Tim was sliding down his body, pulling off shoes and sock – both Tony’s and his own – then dragging Tony’s pants and underwear the rest of the way. Tony bit his lip, watching as Tim began to crawl back up, but stopped half way and grinned. Before Tony could ask him what he was doing, he had bent over and taken the head of Tony’s cock into his mouth, and all Tony could do was bite his lip and groan as his head fell back. Tim’s mouth was unbelievable, sucking with just the right pressure, using his tongue to press on the thick vein on the underside and drive him crazy. And his hands, _God_ ; one was playing with his balls, the other holding down his hips to stop him from thrusting. He felt the pressure build and tugged lightly with the hand which had somehow found its way into Tim’s hair.

“Tim, god, _fuck_ , you gotta stop or I’m gonna come.” 

His cock fell out of Tim’s mouth with a wet pop, and Tim grinned. “We don’t want that; I’ve got plans for this,” he said, his voice a hoarse promise.

“What…?” Tony managed, but Tim was stripping out of his own pants and Tony’s mouth went dry as he took in the site of Tim, naked and hard. “C’mere,” he croaked, and Tim was back on top of him, kissing him hungrily, and their cocks were rubbing together and _Christ_ , it was the best thing _ever_. Tim’s mouth seemed to be everywhere; on his lips, neck, biting at his jawline and hell, wasn’t the fact that Probie was a biter a real surprise? Then Tim’s mouth was at his ear, and Tony nearly came when Tim whispered,

“God, Tony, need you to fuck me.”

“Christ, yeah,” he managed, and suddenly he was treated to the site of Tim smearing lube all over his fingers, reaching back and, god, fucking himself. Tony couldn’t believe his eyes; couldn’t believe that this was all for him. Tim was gorgeous. Head thrown back, flushed, biting his lip as he added another finger. “Turn around,” he said hoarsely. “Wanna see.” Tim nodded and withdrew his fingers before turning around so he was straddling Tony’s lap the other way. He leaned forward, balancing himself on his right hand while he brought his left back around and pushed two fingers inside his slick hole. Tony moaned loudly at the sight and suddenly Tim turned back around, mouth planted on Tony’s. Moments later, Tony felt the familiar slide of latex on his cock, the coolness of the lube, and then Tim leaned down and stroked his clean hand down the side of Tony’s face as he wiped his other hand on the sheets. 

“You all right?” Tim’s voice showed only a hint of strain, but there was a look of worry on his face. As if Tony was capable of stopping.

“I’m fine. Better than fine, even.” He smiled and grabbed Tim’s hand, ignoring the feel of the residual lube. Tim returned the smile, and leaned back, steadying Tony’s cock as he sank down slowly. Tony’s eyes almost rolled back in his head as he was enveloped in tight heat. When he was buried inside he looked up, watching the strain on Tim’s face, the sweat forming on his forehead, and couldn’t help a grin. “God, you look amazing,” he breathed, as Tim opened his eyes and looked down at Tony, eyes almost all pupil. 

“You’re looking pretty good yourself,” Tim gasped, before lifting himself up and dropping back down again. “Nnngh, _fuck_ , you feel so good, Tony, knew you’d feel amazing,” he babbled as Tony started to thrust up to meet him. Tony felt himself getting lost in the sensations, but there was no way he was going to come yet. No matter how good it felt, he had a reputation to uphold when it came to sex, and the fact that this was with a guy made no difference. He leaned up and dragged Tim’s head down for a kiss, smiling as Tim moaned into his mouth. He brought his left hand back down – his right was still clutching Tim’s left – and began stroking Tim’s cock. It was a little awkward; he was using his left hand, and it was another guy’s _cock_ , for god’s sake. But somehow, it seemed to work, because Tim was moaning and arching; it only took a few more strokes and thrusts, then Tim cried out “Tony!” and came all over Tony’s hand and both their stomachs. Tony managed another two thrusts in that tight pulsing heat before he came deep inside Tim, biting his lip as Tim slumped forward and buried his face in Tony’s neck. They lay that way for a few moments, just breathing, before Tim raised himself up off of Tony’s cock, wincing a little, and collapsed on the bed next to him. 

As the haze of orgasm cleared, Tony looked over to where Tim lay, flushed and breathing heavily, and the full realization of what they’d just done came crashing down on him. It must have shown in his face, because Tim’s expression immediately closed off.

“So here come the regrets, huh?” he asked dryly, making as though to get up. And yeah, okay, maybe Tony was still coming to terms with the fact that he’d just had sex with a guy and really, really enjoyed it, but he knew that if Tim left the bed this would be over, and he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. He shot out a hand and pulled Tim back down, and Tim fell forward onto his chest with an “Oof!” He stared at Tony in surprise. “Tony, what…?”

“Okay, yeah, I may be freaking out a little,” Tony said in as matter-of-fact a tone as he could muster. “But that doesn’t mean you can deny me my post-coital snuggle time, Probie.”

Tim looked at him for a moment, before bursting into surprised laughter. “Tony DiNozzo’s a cuddler. Who knew?”

“Only about two other people on the planet, Probie. I don’t do this with everyone. Now shut up and snuggle.”

Tim lay down on his side, his head resting on Tony’s shoulder and his arm creeping across Tony’s stomach. “You know,” he said conversationally, and Tony rolled his eyes. Trust McGee to be a talker after sex. “You calling me ‘Probie’ when we’re like this? Not winning you any points.”

“You love it,” Tony retorted, tightening his arms around Tim and closing his eyes.

***

He woke up a couple of hours later, experiencing a moment of panic before he remembered where he was and who he was in bed with. He had fully expected some kind of major breakdown, but all he felt was content. And hungry, but he couldn’t move without waking Tim, so he was content to lie there for a few minutes until Tim’s breathing changed and all he heard was, “Ugh, Tony, Jesus!”

“What? What is it?” Oh, god, had he done something wrong? He had explained to Tim that he was new to this whole ‘gay sex’ thing, hadn’t he?

“You should have let me get up for a cloth or something, because this is _seriously_ gross.” It took Tony a moment to realize what Tim was talking about, but when he brought a hand down to scratch at his stomach and came away with dried flakes of come under his nails he got it.

“Ew.” A thought occurred to him, and he grinned. “You know what this means, don’t you, McGee?”

Tim raised his head to look warily at Tony. “What?”

Tony’s eyes flicked down to Tim’s mouth as he spoke, and he smiled. “It means,” he said quietly, “that we’ll just have to shower to get ourselves clean.” He leaned forward and kissed Tim gently, and then with increasingly more passion as they pulled each other closer.

“Thought you might have changed your mind and started freaking out, or something,” Tim muttered into his mouth between kisses. Tony pulled back just enough to look at Tim’s face, and saw the insecurity there underneath the joking tone.

He smiled. “Nah, are you kidding? Anthony DiNozzo does _not_ freak out.”

Tim rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, you totally do.” There were a few moments of comfortable silence before Tim spoke again. “Tony, I… I need you to be honest with me.”

Tony raised an eyebrow at the serious note in Tim’s voice. “Okay, what’s up?”

“I need you to tell me if this is just one of your flings, because…well, because.”

Tony stared at him in disbelief. “Okay, first off? You are such a girl. Needing to know where a relationship is going? C’mon, man.” Tim looked hurt, and Tony cursed himself inwardly for his inability to be serious. “But hey, in all seriousness, do you honestly think that I would have done this with just anyone? Tim, I’m pretty much brand new to this, as you might have guessed, but I’m not using you for some kind of experiment, and I’m not looking for a fling.” He smiled. “I guess that assignment with Jeanne kinda made me see what it’s like to have an actual relationship, and maybe I’m ready for that now. Whatever it is, I’m not… Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that this is definitely forever, but I don’t want to put a time limit on it, you know? Can’t we just…see where it takes us?” 

Tim smiled at him, before leaning down to kiss him. “Yeah, I think we can do that. I take it you’ve already figured out that I’m pretty into you, huh?”

“Of course you are, Probie. I mean, look at me! Who wouldn’t be?” 

“Ass,” Tim laughed, whacking him on the arm. “And stop calling me Probie! You called me Tim before.”

“I’ve called you Tim a few times. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop calling you Probie.” He sighed. “You know they can’t find out about this at work, right?” 

Tim’s face clouded over for a second, but then he nodded. “Yeah, I know. Rule number twelve, right?”

“Yeah, there’s that, but Gibbs’ll probably figure it out anyway.”

“Probably.”

“And then there’s everyone else. I just…This is too new, y’know? I don’t like everybody knowing my business.”

“So you don’t want anyone to know we’re sleeping together. Thanks, DiNozzo, that’s great.” Tim had a look on his face which was equal parts hurt and disgust, and Tony shook his head vigorously. 

“No, god, _no_ , that’s not what I meant. Well, it is, but not how you’re thinking.”

“So explain it to me.” Tim had retreated to his end of the bed, where before they had been lying together in the middle, and Tony felt the loss almost immediately.

“I’m not ashamed, if that’s what you’re thinking; not of you. It’s just that it would be awkward. I mean, it’s not like anyone knows about you, is it?”

Tim opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no sound came out. After a moment of this, he managed, “I guess not, no.”

“And why is that?”

Tim sighed. “Because in the current political climate it’s extremely ill-advised. Also, I was pretty sure you wouldn’t take it well.” Tim’s sly look made Tony want to jump him and do indecent things to him, but he wasn’t sure of how things were done with another guy so he restrained himself. Barely. “I guess that isn’t a problem now, huh.”

Tony grinned, and then winced. “Can we save any more of this delightful talk about our relationship until after we’ve showered? Because this is seriously gross,” he declared, standing up and stretching, and trying not to smile smugly as he saw Tim’s eyes, filled with lust, roam over his naked body. Thank god for all that gym time he put in. He’d never had much shame when it came to being naked with someone he’d just had sex with, but it never hurt to look good and show it off once in a while.

Tim nodded. “You can have the first shower, if you want.”

Tony blinked, trying to hide his disappointment. “Oh. I’d just thought that maybe we could, you know, shower together? It would be totally economical, after all – save water, save the planet, and all that jazz.”

Tim laughed, a purely delighted sound that matched the expression on his face, and Tony’s chest went tight at the sight. “You know, Tony, you have some brilliant ideas.”

“C’mon, Probie, you’ve only _just_ figured that out?” Tony asked, holding out a hand to pull Tim up off the bed – the best thing about this move being that, as soon as he was standing, Tony could pull him right in close and _god_ , the feel of all that skin against his almost made his brain explode. He slid his hands around Tim’s back, then down to cup his ass as he leaned in for a kiss. He felt Tim’s mouth open under his as the kiss deepened, and started squeezing McGee’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart and dragging one finger down his crack to tease at his hole. Tim broke away from the kiss with a gasp.

“Go, or we’ll never get a shower. I’ll meet you in there.”

Tony pouted a little, but did as he was told since he was only just remembering the fact that Tim had been shot only a few hours ago and was supposed to be taking it easy. He switched on the shower and got it to a good temperature, and was about to call on Tim to see what was taking him so long when he felt arms snake around his waist and kisses being pressed on his shoulder. He leaned back, amazed by the feeling of being in this position, supported by someone who was the same height as him. It felt weird, sure, but there wasn’t really anything about this situation that didn’t. Tim’s hard cock rubbing between his ass cheeks was possibly the weirdest thing at this moment, Tony mused, but then Tim’s hand closed over his cock and he could only gasp.

Then Tim was gone, and Tony made a noise which was _not_ a whimper at the loss of pressure. But Tim was in the shower, looking at him with an expression which promised more pressure in different ways, and Tony stepped in to join him.

They kissed languidly under the spray for a while, hands roaming while they learned each other’s bodies. The only male body Tony had known like this was his own and, although it felt as though his brain was belaboring the point, it was not going to stop being strange that quickly. He laughed and said as much to Tim.

“This is so strange,” he managed between kisses.

“Hmm?”

“It’s just all so different.” Tim looked at him questioningly, and he squirmed a little. There was a sudden look of comprehension on Tim’s face, and Tony half expected Tim to get mad. Instead, Tim threw back his head and laughed. Tony stared at him in amazement.

“You’re getting confused because, what, you’ve only just figured out that I don't have the same equipment as the girls you've been with?” Tim asked grinning, and Tony pouted.

“Oh, come on, it’s not funny! It’s…I’m…” He scowled. “I feel like a fucking _virgin_. I didn’t even feel like that when I _was_ a virgin, and I haven’t been one of those since I was fifteen.”

“Hey.” He looked up and saw Tim smiling at him; gently, but with an edge that made his cock twitch. “Don’t worry, Tony. I get that this is all new to you, and weird, and that you’re gonna probably freak out about it at some point. And if you want some time to adjust later, I’m not going to stop you.” He moved forward, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist and pulling him in close. “But right now,” he continued, leaning forward and nipping Tony’s lip, soothing the small hurt with his tongue, “I want you to fuck me again.”

Tony groaned, pushing Tim up against the wall of the shower and kissing him hard, tongues and teeth clashing. “Where’s…the… _god_ …condoms…lube…” he managed.

“What do you think took me so long when I sent you through first?” Tim asked, smiling against his mouth, and Tony groaned as he felt Tim rolling a condom over his cock. He opened his eyes in time to see Tim lubing up his fingers and reaching back, but Tony caught his hand.

“Wait…Can I…?” Tim’s eyes went wide and he nodded, swallowing. He turned around, bracing himself against the wall with his forearms, and Tony spread the lube over his fingers. He teased Tim’s entrance for a few moments, cataloguing every whimper and sigh, before tentatively pushing in a finger. Tim let out a high-pitched noise and Tony suppressed a laugh, pushing his finger in further. He could feel Tim’s muscles squeezing his finger, thought about how they had squeezed his cock only a few hours before, and groaned into Tim’s shoulder.

“M-more, Tony; I can take more.”

Tony bit his lip and drew his finger out, before slowly pushing in two together. Tim moaned, and pushed back, fucking himself on Tony’s fingers. Tony looked down and saw Tim’s hole, pink and shiny, stretched around his fingers and nearly lost it there and then. He tugged his balls down with his free hand to stop himself from coming, and leaned forward, muttering in Tim’s ear. “God, need to fuck you, can I?”

“God, yes,” Tim panted. “Don’t need any more prep, just fuck me, _fuck_ , Tony, fuck me.”

Tony pulled his fingers out of Tim’s ass and spread the lube over his cock. After throwing the tube away – they later discovered that it had landed perfectly in the toothpaste holder, a shot even Tony couldn’t have got if he’d tried – he held himself steady and pressed his cock at Tim’s entrance.

“Yeah?” he asked, unable to manage any more complicated speech.

“Yeah,” Tim answered, and Tony wrapped his arm around Tim’s waist before pushing in slowly. He’d had anal sex with girls before, thank god, so he knew something at least, especially that he had to go slow until Tim adjusted. But Tim was already pushing back against Tony, making noises that he would never have imagined Tim could make, even in his wildest fantasies. He dragged Tim’s head back for a kiss, using his other hand to reach round and begin to stroke Tim’s cock, teasing; much like he would have done to himself – bringing his hand up to scratch over a nipple, then down to play with Tim’s balls, relishing the whimper that caused. 

It felt as though it could go on forever, standing under the spray and breathing into each others’ mouths. But soon the need to come was too pressing – not to mention that the shower was running out of hot water – and Tony began to thrust harder, stroking faster, until Tim was throwing his head back and crying out, and Tony was biting into Tim’s shoulder and thrusting one last time, coming so hard his vision grayed out. 

They stood kissing lazily for a while, until the water became too cold to bear; then they both washed quickly and stepped out of the shower, drying off as quickly as they could. After they wandered back through into the bedroom, Tony looked at the clock and sighed.

“What?” Tim asked, stretching his arms over his head lazily. Tony’s brain shorted at the sight and it took him a moment to re-gather his thoughts.

“Um, it’s getting late.” He tried to keep any hopefulness out of his voice; it wasn’t fair to expect anything. Anyway, the logistics of it wouldn’t work; he never gave Tim a lift into work, although he could probably use the fact he’d been shot as an excuse; tell Gibbs that he slept on Tim’s sofa to make sure that he wasn’t injured, but maybe Tim didn’t want him to stay and ohgod, what if he’d done something wrong and….

“Uh, Tony?” Tony snapped out of his panicked thoughts and looked at Tim questioningly. “Do you, uh…” Tim blushed. “Did you maybe want to stay here? Tonight?”

Tony reached out and grabbed hold of Tim’s arm, pulling him in. He kissed him slowly, kisses for the sake of kisses. There was no way it was going anywhere yet; Tony wasn’t that young any more, and his recovery time wasn’t what it used to be. But Tony liked kissing, so he was content to do this forever, before he remembered that Tim had asked him a question. He pulled away from Tim’s lips long enough to say, “That’s a yes, by the way, Probie,” before diving back in. They fell on the bed, laughing, crawling up the bed and settling under the covers; Tim’s back to Tony’s front and Tony’s arm draped over Tim’s body. He pressed a last kiss to Tim’s shoulder and, as he fell asleep, he felt Tim’s fingers entwine with his.

***

Tony didn’t relax at work until well into the afternoon. That morning hadn’t been awkward as Tony had thought it would be; they had woken early, giving time for lazy kisses, which had progressed into Tim kissing his way down Tony’s chest and showing him again just how talented his mouth could be, pulling off just in time and jerking him off as he came. After dragging Tim up for further kisses he had snaked a hand down between them and stroked Tim’s cock slow and hard until he gasped and came all over Tony’s hand. They had showered separately, knowing that if they had showered together they would have been late for work, and had made it in with only two minutes to spare. Tony’s explanation of staying on Tim’s sofa the previous night wasn’t even questioned (a well deserved reputation as a womanizer was pretty handy in situations such as these) and the day went smoothly. 

Gibbs was more attentive to McGee than usual, but since he always got like this now when one of them had been injured Tony didn’t think anything of it. He had worried that Ziva, with her ninja-Mossad-Spidey-senses, would be able to smell Tim on him or something, but the day passed almost without incident. 

The only near miss they had was in the lab; Abby grabbed Tim’s shoulder, right over the bite-mark Tony had made only that morning, and Tim had winced. He managed to deflect questions, however, by telling everyone that he had banged it hard on a rock when he’d landed after being shot. Of course, that meant that Abby just dived on him and hugged him. Tony had a bizarre moment of jealousy where all he could think was _“get your hands off him, not yours anymore, mine, mine, MINE”_ but he managed to play it cool, and laughed along with everyone else. 

About an hour before he was planning to leave, Tim came over to his desk. 

“Hey, Tony.”

Tony looked up at him warily. “Hey, Probie, what’s up?” 

“Just wondering if you’d mind giving me a ride home again today? I’m feeling a lot better, but I really don’t think I’m up to taking the bus yet.” His words were perfectly innocent; if anyone in the office had heard them they wouldn’t have heard anything out of the ordinary. But Tim had a look in his eyes that Tony knew only too well, now. And since the next day was Saturday, unless they got called in they had the whole day to themselves. He swallowed.

When he spoke, however, he managed not to let on that anything was up. “Sure, Probie, I think I can manage that. Since you’re still so fragile, and all.”

“Screw you, Tony.” Tony could see his mouth twitching, and tried not to crack a smile himself.

“Am I gonna have to separate you two?” Gibbs’s voice came across loudly, and they both jumped.

“No, boss,” they chorused, and Tim went back to his desk, leaving Tony to wonder just exactly what they could do when they got to Tim’s that night.


	3. Chapter 3

They were no sooner in the door than McGee had him pressed up against it, kissing him like he was drowning. “God, Tony, wanted to do that all day,” he groaned, and Tony couldn’t help groaning back.

“I hear ya, Probie.” His hands slid down Tim’s back, cupping his ass and pulling him in closer. “Bedroom?”

Tim didn’t answer in words; he grabbed Tony’s hand and dragged him through the apartment and into his bedroom. “God, why aren’t you naked yet?” Tim breathed in his ear, and _fuck_.

“Never thought you’d be this aggressive, Probie,” he panted, trying to help unbutton his shirt. Tim blushed, suddenly self-conscious, and Tony realized his mistake. He pulled Tim back in for a bruising kiss in an attempt to make him stop thinking. “I like it,” he grinned, and that fire was back in Tim’s eyes.

“Good.” Tim grinned back. “Now how about we get these clothes off, huh?”

They stripped quickly, before lying facing each other on the bed. Tony took a deep breath, trying to work up the courage to ask for what he wanted. It had been on his mind all day and, while he knew that everything else he had done could be classed as some kind of experiment, this was crossing a line he could never go back from.

“Tim,” he said quietly, stilling the probie’s hands which had been stroking distractingly over his side and chest. “Tim, I want… I want you to fuck me.”

Tim’s eyes went wide, and although Tony could see the desire in them, he could also see the question there. “Tony, are you sure? Because you don’t have to feel like this is something you have to do to make it fair; it doesn’t work like that. I’m more than happy for you to fuck me.”

Tony shook his head. “No, it’s nothing like that. I just… I want to know how it feels.”

“You could practice, you know? There are toys; you can stretch yourself out slowly….”

Tony growled and pulled Tim closer. “I don’t want… Toys? Are you kidding me?” He sighed. “I want _you_ to fuck me. And I can’t make it any clearer than that without turning into a teenage girl.”

Tim’s eyes darkened and he leaned in, kissing Tony breathless. “I’ll make it good for you,” he promised.

“I know,” Tony said, trying to keep the trepidation out of his voice.

“But we’re going to have to go slow. Gotta get you relaxed for me.” Tim’s eyes were serious now, and Tony nodded. “Call me a girl if you have to, but if I don’t get you relaxed it’s gonna hurt a _lot_.”

“And if I am relaxed?”

Tim bit his lip. “I’m not gonna lie to you, Tony, it’s still gonna hurt a little. But only for a little bit; I’ll get you through it, I swear.”

“All right.” Tony was amazed at how steady his voice sounded. Thinking that when Tim said ‘relaxed’ he meant that he would prep Tony for longer, he prepared to roll over on his stomach, and so was surprised when Tim pushed him gently onto his back. He looked up at Tim in surprise, but Tim smiled gently at him, leaning down and kissing him until he’d almost forgotten where it was leading. Tim had lowered his body on to Tony’s and was writhing gently on top of him as they kissed, and Tony couldn’t help but moan. He felt Tim smile against his lips, before trailing kisses down his jaw to his ear, biting at the lobe and making Tony yelp in surprise. 

Then Tim’s mouth was back on his, slightly rougher than before, and Tony felt Tim’s hands running down his arms before bringing his hands up and pinning them above his head. Tony gasped; he had never imagined that he could ever enjoy being restrained, or that Tim would be the dominating type, but good _god_. He arched up, wanting more of Tim’s mouth, more friction, more _everything_ , whimpering when Tim started kissing down his chest, taking his time, and ignoring Tony’s silent pleas for more. Then Tim’s mouth was on his nipple, wet and hot, teeth scraping; slowly licking and biting down towards his navel. 

When Tim finally bent to suck his cock, he was so worked up he knew that he wouldn’t last. “Tim!” he gasped out, unable to say any more, but Tim seemed to understand and pulled off. 

“Doing all right there, Tony?” Tim asked, his voice teasing. 

“I’m good,” he croaked. “But if you don’t stop that I’m going to come.”

Tim climbed back up Tony’s body on his hands and knees, leaning down to give Tony a quick kiss. “Turn over,” he said quietly, and Tony did so, suddenly nervous. “You’re going to have to relax, you know. Tensing up like that isn’t going to help.”

Tony gave a brittle laugh. “Yeah, well, not really something I can control, McGee.”

There was a moment of silence, and Tony wondered if he’d said something wrong. But then Tim’s hands were massaging his neck muscles, easing the tension out of them, and little by little Tony felt himself relax. Tim’s hands moved lower, working out the knots in his back, and he sighed. He was vaguely aware of Tim leaning over him, before feeling kisses dropped across his shoulders and moving slowly down his back. He heard the squirt of lube and almost tensed up again, but Tim continued his kisses and massaging, and so when he felt fingers teasing at his hole he merely groaned and pushed back, trying to get some friction on his cock as he did so.

He heard a strangled noise from behind him, and looked over his shoulder to where McGee was kneeling to one side of him, staring at his flexing hips with a look on his face that Tony wanted to see a _lot_ more. He pushed his ass up a little further, hoping Tim would get the message. Tim swallowed thickly, and Tony felt a finger start to press in a little. He forced himself to stay relaxed, remembering when he had done this to himself. This was…not _better_ , exactly, but certainly easier. Spit, he decided, was no substitute for lube, no matter what they might do in gay porn. And okay, yeah, maybe he’d watched more than that one since then. For research, of course.

“You okay?” Tim’s voice was strained, and Tony couldn’t help but be smug, because he had made Tim sound like that. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he replied. He could feel his muscles relaxing around that one finger, and it felt… It just _wasn’t enough_. “You can use another finger, come on.”

“You sure?”

Tony drew himself up on his hands and knees, pushing his ass up and shooting a smoldering look over his shoulder. Tim’s eyes widened and his hand went down to tug his balls back, making Tony grin. “I’m sure,” he said needlessly, since Tim had already reached for the lube. 

When Tim’s finger withdrew, he felt the loss immediately; although it hadn’t exactly been pleasant, it had been _something_ , and to have the something taken away was not making him happy. It was only for a second, though; he felt something wider – two fingers – pressing inside of him and felt as though all the breath had gone out of his lungs. It didn’t hurt, not exactly, but he could feel his muscles stretching around the intrusion. When he felt Tim’s knuckles against his ass he let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding, and pushed back. Those fingers started to work in and out, and _fuck_ , yeah, that was pretty okay. Then Tim shifted, and his fingers shifted onto something, and Tony nearly leaped off the bed. 

“Jesus…Tim…what…?”

Tim leaned forward so that his mouth was next to Tony’s ear. “Feel good?” Tony nodded. “That was your prostate. It’ll feel even better when I’m inside you.” Tony could only pant, unable to speak. Better? Christ, he’d never survive. He felt Tim retreat back down his body again, and the fingers which had been fucking into him began to stretch him even further and okay, yeah, that was starting to hurt. But then Tim’s mouth was on his balls, distracting him from the discomfort long enough for his muscles to start relaxing again. 

When Tim eventually added a third finger, the whole of Tony’s world seemed to have narrowed to the sensations in his ass, balls and cock. He was beyond coherent thought; the sting of the stretch offset by what Tim was doing with his mouth and by the occasional brush of fingers over his prostate. Finally, _finally_ , when Tim leaned over and whispered in his ear, in a voice hoarse and shattered with strain, “I’m going to fuck you now, Tony, okay?” Tony could only whimper and nod. He heard the whisper of ripping foil, the slick sound of lube, and then Tim’s fingers were being replaced by something thicker and blunter and okay, _fuck_ , that hurt. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breath through it.

“It’ll…help if you…bear down,” Tim gasped once the head of his cock was past the first ring of muscle, and Tony did as he suggested. It helped a little, but the stretch was still painful. Not unbearable, though, and he barely winced when Tim pushed in a little more. Tim’s hand creeping round to stroke his cock helped, and soon he felt his muscles relax around Tim enough for him to push in all the way. Tony’s eyes widened at the oddness of the feeling and tried to talk, but his voice seemed to have gone and all that came out was clicking noises. 

He felt Tim moving backwards and braced himself for the first thrust; instead, Tim’s arm crept round his waist and pulled Tony back until he was sitting on Tim’s lap. “You all right?” Tim asked him, punctuating the question with a trail of kisses up from his shoulder to his ear. 

“Fine,” he managed through gritted teeth, arousal warring with discomfort for dominance. “Just move, okay?”

Tim didn’t answer, but dragged Tony’s head round for a deep kiss. He was so lost in the feel of Tim’s lips on his that the first thrust came as a surprise, and he choked on a moan. Tim began thrusting shallowly, stroking Tony’s cock with the same rhythm, and Tony’s head fell back onto Tim’s shoulder as Tim managed to hit _that_ spot inside him. 

“Fuck, Tim,” he cried, hearing Tim’s answering moan in his ear. He felt Tim pushing him forward and went with it so he was on his hands and knees once again. He braced himself on his forearms as Tim leaned over him, kissing and nipping at the back of Tony’s neck as he continued to thrust. 

“Feel good yet?” Tim huffed into his ear, and Tony nodded, bringing a hand up to wipe the sweat from his eyes. “Good,” Tim continued, “because I plan on making you feel even better.” Tim shifted a little, moving his hand back to Tony’s cock, and suddenly he was stroking Tony’s prostate on every thrust and Tony was seeing fireworks behind his eyelids and moaning and _fuckTimjesuschrist_ coming. He lay boneless as Tim thrust into him one last time before going still and groaning out his own orgasm, cock pulsing inside Tony. They collapsed together on the bed, Tony only realizing too late that it’s always a good idea to fall over to the side and avoid the wet spot, because, gross. 

“I’m going to pull out now, okay?” Tim said gently, and Tony nodded, wincing at the pain in his abused muscles as Tim did so. He tried to move, planning on getting up to wash, and discovered that actually, no, apart from being able to move onto his side, further movement wasn’t going to happen any time soon. Tim laughed, obviously realizing Tony’s predicament, and climbed over him to lay facing, leaning in to kiss him deeply. “So, um…” Tim began when he finally pulled away, blushing. Tony considered letting him suffer, but knew that it would be a level of cruelty that was beyond even him. Instead, he leaned forward and, cupping Tim’s face in his hand, kissed him gently.

“I think,” he said, trying to keep his expression serious, “that I might be a little bit gay.” Tim blinked, and burst out laughing. Tony grinned, waiting on Tim’s laughter to subside before he spoke again. “Hey, seriously. That was… _fuck_ , Tim.” He laughed, but the movement made him wince.

“Hey, are you okay?” The worry in Tim’s voice made Tony smile, and he slid his hand down to Tim’s hip, pulling him closer. 

“Okay? Jesus, Tim. I think I can tell you, in all honesty, that I have _never_ been fucked like that before.”

“Tony.” 

Tony relented. “I’m fine. I’m a little sore, but that’s to be expected, right? And since that was utterly fucking amazing, I think I can forgive you for the fact that I’m pretty sure I’m going to be feeling that for a week.”

“Really?” Tim’s face lit up, and Tony smirked.

“Yeah, well, don’t let it go to your head.” He looked down at himself and sighed. “Now, since I am currently unable to move, thanks to you, I think you should go and get a cloth so we can clean up and go to sleep.”

Tim huffed an indignant laugh, but got up anyway, bringing back a couple of damp cloths. They cleaned off quickly – Tony taking a moment to try and clean up the wet spot on the sheets – and Tim moved closer so that they were laying face to face, limbs wrapped around each other. Tony felt that he should be completely freaked out, or overwhelmed by the fact he had just been _fucked by another guy_. But right now he could feel his brain relaxing into sleep, could feel Tim’s breath against his neck deepening as he drifted off. He could freak out in the morning.

***

“Tony.”

“Hmmpharlm.”

“Tony.”

“Huhnnnn.”

“ _Tony_!”

Tony jerked awake in panic, wincing at the pain that shot through his lower back. “What?” he asked grouchily, glaring blearily up at Tim.

“Your phone’s been ringing for the last ten minutes. I figured that it was important.”

“My phone? Why didn’t I hear it?”

“Um,” Tim flushed from his chest up to his ears, turning his skin a rosy red. Tony wanted to lick it. “You dropped your keys and phone on the floor pretty much as soon as we got in last night. I only heard it ‘cause I was up.” Tim handed the phone to Tony, who blinked and checked his missed calls. His stepmother, Jesus. What the hell could she possibly want, unless his father had been cheating and she decided to phone him and bitch. Fuck it. 

“It’s totally not important.” He smirked up at Tim, who was watching him carefully, his expression blank. Tony raised an eyebrow. “Okay, what’s wrong?”

“You’re not freaking out,” Tim said slowly.

Tony shrugged. “Jeez, McGee, I only just woke up. I need at least forty five minutes and a cup of coffee before I can think about anything serious.” He tossed the phone onto the floor and dragged Tim down on top of him, grinning at Tim’s squeak. “And forty five minutes is a pretty long time, right?” he said slyly, one hand wandering down Tim’s back to his ass, where Tony started stroking Tim’s hole gently, grinning at the noises the move provoked. Seconds later, Tim pushed the lube and a foil packet into Tony’s hand, and for some time there was no conversation; only whispered words and soft curses and the slick noises of sex as Tim rode Tony like that first time. 

After, as they lay with Tim draped over Tony, his face buried in Tony’s neck, Tim brought it up again.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, bringing a hand down to stroke at the abused area, much as Tony had done earlier, but for a different reason. Well, as far as Tony could make out.

Although his first impulse was to joke about it, deflecting the question, knowing McGee he would just keep asking until Tony broke. May as well get it over with. “It’s weird,” he confessed. I’ve never had anything go _up_ there before… Well, except…” he blushed, thinking of the time he’d fingered himself while watching that porn and too embarrassed to tell Tim. But Tim had that look which meant if Tony didn’t tell him he’d bring it up at really awkward moments so, biting his lip, he muttered, “Except for that time I maybe wanted to see what it was like so I tried pushing a finger up there just to see. Maybe.” Tim’s eyes had widened and Tony figured that since he’d already started… “And this may have been when I was watching that gay porn I mentioned,” he finished, staring at the comforter in an attempt to avoid Tim’s eyes.

“You…seriously?” Tim’s voice shook, and Tony looked down at him sharply. Instead of smirking, Tim looked completely turned on. “Tony… _Fuck_ , that’s hot.” Tim leaned in to kiss him and, although he knew that there was no chance of recovery this soon, his cock twitched valiantly anyway. 

“You think so?” Tony asked, teasing, between kisses.

Tim hummed in agreement. “I think I’d like to see that some day.”

“Gay porn?” Tony asked, eyebrow raised.

Tim rolled his eyes. “No, Tony.” His voice went husky, and Tony bit his lip. “I want to see you fingering yourself, getting yourself ready for me. Opening yourself up so that I can just slide into you.” He bit gently at Tony’s lip, before shifting and moving off the bed. “But right now,” he continued, voice returned to normal, “we both need to shower.” Tony grinned and threw a pillow at him, which he ducked easily, laughing as he headed out towards the bathroom. 

***

They spent the entire weekend in bed, getting up only for showers and food – except for a couple of hours on Sunday when they put on a movie and spent the whole time making out on the sofa. Sunday evening, though, Tony dragged himself out of his post-coital doze and pressed a kiss to Tim’s lips. 

“I have to go,” he said quietly, hating that he couldn’t just stay.

“I know.” Tim’s expression was wistful, but understanding, and Tony nodded once before getting out of bed and pulling on his clothes. “Hey.” Tony looked back to where Tim was laying sprawled, head on his elbow as he watched Tony. “We good?” Tony knelt on the bed, leaning over and capturing Tim’s mouth in a deep kiss.

“Yeah, we’re good,” he said at length, and Tim smiled.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Bright and early as usual, Probie,” Tony laughed, pulling on his jacket and grabbing his phone from the bedside table. He leaned back over for one last kiss, which turned into ten last kisses, before finally pulling away. “Right, really going now,” he grinned, backing up out of the bedroom.

“Don’t forget your keys,” Tim called, and Tony picked them up from where they’d been haphazardly dropped on Friday night. 

“Got ‘em,” he yelled back, and left before he could convince himself that staying would be a good idea.

***

“Not bad!”

“Well look at this one; you’re gonna _love_ this guy.”

Tony’s ears pricked up as he came into the squad room and heard Ziva and Tim chatting while looking at Tim’s computer screen. 

“Yeah, he would not be safe with me. I would _eat_ him.”

“He’s so adorable! How could you say no to that face?” Tony couldn’t help the spark of jealousy which ignited in him, despite the fact he knew that there was no way Tim would have outed himself at work, and to Ziva, no less. But something wasn’t right.

“Please tell me you’re looking for a man for Ziva,” he bit out, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice.

“Not me,” Ziva replied, grinning, and Tony forced a fake smile on before he could start yelling.

“Oh. McGoo, is there something you want to tell me?” _Like that you’ve outed yourself to your other co-workers and now you’re dumping me for some reason?_ he thought bitterly. It wasn’t like they’d really had a chance to spend time together since that last weekend; the occasional stolen kiss in random empty rooms, a quick grope when Tony dropped Tim off in the evenings – something which had become a regular occurrence. But they hadn’t talked about it being exclusive, and all right, so Tony had been feeling a little insecure about the whole thing, and… Yeah.

“Looking at animal rescue sites.” Tony felt the tightness in his chest dissipate at Tim’s declaration and bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from smiling.

“McGee is thinking about getting a puppy,” Ziva explained.

“A puppy’s a lot of work. You gotta feed it, walk it, train it.” _Pay all the attention to it that you should be paying to me,_ he thought, but didn’t say anything out loud because he really didn’t want to sound that petty.

“Yeah, I’m not twelve, all right? I work hard.” His expression turned slightly devious. “I deserve someone who will jump up all excited when I get home, you know.”

“Lay on the couch, watch TV,” Tony added, joining in the game.

“Maybe lick my face a little bit.” And dammit, why did Tim need a puppy when Tony could do all those things? Maybe not the jumping up thing, but the laying on the sofa watching TV he could definitely do, and he’d already done the licking the face thing. Right from Tim’s jaw, over his mouth to his nose when Tony had been inside him on Sunday afternoon…

“Might be easier getting a girlfriend,” he managed, pushing those thoughts to one side, although he only said it because it was expected of him to say things like that. 

He should have expected Tim’s response, but it still hit him kinda hard. “Which might even be easier with a puppy.” Tony met his gaze over Ziva’s head, trying to hide his hurt behind a mask of amazement that the probie had thought of such a thing, and an apology flashed in Tim’s eyes before he continued. “Even for you.”

“I’m not ready to start taking tips from you on this yet, Probie.” Now that he knew it was just teasing banter, Tony fell into it easily, looking at Tim with barely disguised want while Ziva was entranced by the puppies. Tim gave him a look loaded with meaning.

“Tony, I think it’s time you get back on that horse.” Tony wanted to tell him that he already had, that it was what he wanted with Tim, but couldn’t, not with Ziva there. Luckily she managed to break the tension by looking between Tony and Tim in surprise and asking,

“Are you getting a pony?”

“It’s an adage,” Tony said, the comment coming out sharper than he’d meant it to.

“I’m not familiar with that breed,” Ziva said, looking confused, and Tony struggled not to laugh.

“Well, they are quite rare.” Tony felt his lips twitch and fought it, trying to look as serious as possible. “Sort of a cross between a Pegasus and a unicorn.” Ziva looked at him in confusion for a moment, before glaring and backing off. Tony looked back at the screen. “So, who’s the favorite?”

“The pitbull,” Ziva sounded pretty pissed, but Tony knew that after over two years of working together she wasn’t going to kill him for it. Maybe. 

“Yeah, that makes sense for you, actually,” he said, pretending to think about it. “Not really for McGee.” He laughed, smirking at Tim. “He’s more of a…spaniel kinda guy. Cocker, maybe?” He finished teasingly, putting just enough innuendo into the word ‘cocker’ to make the expression in Tim’s eyes heat up, even as he frowned, but Tony was paying more attention to Gibbs who had just walked up behind Tim and was now staring at the computer screen.

“What about an Australian Shepherd?” Tony’s mind started racing. What if Gibbs had picked up on the subtext? Although he was surprised that Gibbs was giving an opinion on what kind of puppy Tim should get, until the boss continued, “They’re workin’ dogs.” Tony, Tim and Ziva looked at each other uncomfortably. Then Tony’s phone rang, the tension broke, and it was another case to concentrate on and distract him from the problem of what the hell he was going to do about this bizarre jealous streak he’d developed over McGee.

***

When he arrived at the pier with Gibbs, his first sight was of Tim with a metal detector, looking absolutely adorable in giant headphones. Tony caught a dorky smile he could feel threatening before it made it to his face. God, what the hell was the Probie doing to him? He flicked one of Tim’s headphones, grinning inwardly at the scowl Tim shot him. Sometimes it was too easy. He had hoped that once he and Gibbs had arrived, he’d be sent on assignment with Tim, but once he had his report from Tim and Ziva, Gibbs announced that they’d be canvassing local places in the same teams to see if they could find anyone who recognized their photo of the victim. Trying not to show his disappointment, Tony left Tim down at the pier with his metal detector and followed Gibbs.

They stepped into a bar, where a blond with a hot little body was waitressing. He rolled his eyes, but knew it would look weird if he wasn’t, well, himself, so he turned to Gibbs.

“Maybe we should start with this waitress,” he suggested, flinching slightly at the look Gibbs shot him. But Gibbs sent him over anyway, and he smiled at the waitress as he began to question her, trying half heartedly to flirt information out of her. It felt weird, like he was cheating on Tim, which was totally ridiculous, right? 

He got as much information out of her as he figured he was going to, and headed back towards Gibbs to report. His admiration of the brunette, however, wasn’t faked, but when he got outside and saw Tim and Ziva stalling her he forgot about her looks in the face of McGee doing his whole ‘I’m a tough agent’ thing, because that was extremely cute and more than a little bit sexy. Ziva grabbed the brunette’s hand, bringing him back to the case at hand, and was amazed when she turned out to be FBI, apparently working with the victim when he disappeared. Gibbs snapped that they were all going back to NCIS headquarters, and they headed towards the truck.

***

It was easier to not stare at Tim almost constantly when there was a case to concentrate on, Tony decided. The FBI chick would also be perfect cover for them; someone for Tony to flirt with in an obvious way so he could flirt with Tim subtly and unnoticed. They were discussing the case, and Tony had managed not to look at Tim for about half an hour, but then he had to make a movie reference.

“The Eraser,” he breathed, trying to keep his glee internalized. 

“What movie’s that from?” Tim looked confused, and right at that moment Tony decided that their first free weekend, he was going to tie Tim to his sofa and make him watch classic movies.

“I don’t know, Flashdance?” he said scathingly, staring at Tim in disbelief. Tim smirked at him, and Tony felt a flare of heat in his stomach. He took a moment to pray to whoever might be out there that they solve the case soon so that he could tie Tim to his sofa and do unspeakable things to him. Screw the movies; they could watch them any time. He gave Tim a look filled with promises before turning his attention back to the discussion of the case.


	4. Chapter 4

Having managed to pull Tim aside quickly and explain his plan, Tony flirted with Special Agent Krieger (“Oh, call me Courtney!”) at every opportunity. He could tell Tim didn’t like it – which was more of a relief than he wanted to admit; at least it meant Tim cared enough to get a little jealous – but he never said anything. So Tony was more than surprised when it was Ziva who called him on it. They were arguing about Ziva’s attitude towards Courtney, and suddenly she was accusing him of _liking_ the young FBI agent. Glad his plan to deflect attention from what was going on between he and Tim he played a little coy when Ziva accused him of wanting to sleep with Courtney. Her next words, however, brought him up short.

“Same old Tony,” she said, looking almost… _disappointed_ in him. “I thought the new Tony wanted something more. A _real_ relationship.”

Despite the fact that he knew he was over Jeanne, the allusion still stung. “I was pretending to be someone else,” he retorted, trying to keep his voice emotionless.

“Yeah, you could have fooled me,” Ziva muttered, looking him up and down. “I thought you had grown,” she continued before walking away.

“I’m not particularly interested in outgrowing sex.” He wasn’t sure what Ziva’s problem was, but he wasn’t just going to stand by while she gave him a dressing down for something that was none of her business. 

Ziva turned on her heel, stalking back towards him. “Sure, it would be nice, Tony, but it would be meaningless! _Empty_. It would be wrong for you. She’s a pretty girl, but she’s just…a _girl_.” Tony’s heart stopped for a moment, and panic gripped him. _She knows!_ a voice in his head supplied helpfully, but he kept his expression calm. He was glad a moment later, when Ziva went on, “The man you are becoming needs a _woman_.” She gave him a look filled with disdain. “At least I thought he did,” she finished, walking away. 

Tony’s expression stayed smug, but his thoughts were far from calm. What did she mean by that? _Did_ she know about his relationship with Tim? Had she guessed? Or did she just mean that she had thought he’d needed a woman until he’d started flirting with Courtney? Just then Fornell came up behind him, hissing something about emails, and Tony managed to pull himself together enough to join to team in the squad room. 

***

After what felt like forever working on the case with barely time to sleep, let alone spend any private time with McGee, Tony felt like he was going crazy, and was glad of an excuse to lean in close to Tim under the pretense of looking at the computer screen. It was all up on the big screen, so really it was no excuse at all, but no-one seemed to notice anything out of the ordinary as long as he kept pointing to stuff on the screen as though he was helping. Really, Tony was just using it as a cover to get even closer and breathe him in, which was ridiculously sappy and romantic sounding, but it was true. Maybe there had been something in what Ziva had said after all. Maybe it was time for him to have a real adult relationship. Tony used the hand resting on the chair behind Tim’s back to draw patterns on his spine, suppressing a grin as he watched McGee try not to squirm. Well, as adult as he got, anyway.

***

Maybe that undercover thing hadn’t been such a good idea after all, Tony mused as he hid out in the bathroom while Ziva interrogated the delivery boy. Hearing Tim call him ‘Sweet-cheeks’, even as a joke, had done funny, fluttery things to his chest. Not to mention the fact that his flirting seemed to have had dire consequences, and now Courtney thought that he liked her, and that she liked him. He knew that if it had been Tim in that restaurant he wouldn’t have taken the flirting so well, especially considering this newly-developed jealous streak. They may have had a short talk where Tony had promised that this wasn’t a random fling, but what if Tim had changed his mind, and decided that Tony was too much work? 

He really needed to stop thinking, like, right now.

He took a few last deep breaths before steeling his resolve and going out to the squad room where Ziva and Courtney were sitting looking thoughtful. Although they were sitting opposite each other, they seemed to have bonded since Ziva’s rant about Courtney. Their impromptu brainstorming went alarmingly well, and Tony fought a pout. He felt useless, and Tony DiNozzo did not enjoy feeling useless, and was still pouting when the rest of the team returned with Fornell. When Gibbs told him he would be conducting the interview with him, though, he perked up considerably and followed Gibbs to the interrogation room.

***

By the time the case was over, all Tony wanted to do was sleep. They left MTAC after Kumal Kokani had been captured and he went straight to get his bag before walking to the elevator, ready to head home, nothing on his mind but his nice, soft, warm bed….

The elevator doors opened again and Tim slipped in, his expression curious. “You didn’t wait for me.”

Tony rubbed his eyes tiredly. “God, I’m sorry.” He leaned back against the wall of the elevator, wondering if it was in fact possible to sleep standing up.

“Pretty tired, hmm?” Tim’s voice came from just by his ear and Tony nodded, exhausted. “Do you know what day it is tomorrow?”

“Hmm, Tuesday?” Honestly, he had no idea, but Tuesday seemed as good a guess as any.

Tim laughed. “No, Tony, it’s Sunday tomorrow.” And just like that, Tony didn’t actually feel that tired any more. The elevator stopped and Tony walked briskly to the car, hearing Tim just behind him but not daring to look at him in case he molested him in the parking lot of NCIS. As much as that idea might seem fantastic right now, he knew that if it were caught on the security cameras it would be a whole other story. 

The drive to Tim’s was silent; Tony too wound up to speak, although he knew that as soon as they got in the two of them needed to have a conversation about this whole thing between them. He pulled into the parking lot at Tim’s apartment block and glanced at Tim who shot him a smoldering look, and Tony’s mouth went dry. Maybe this talk could wait until after they were both naked.

They walked up to Tim’s apartment in comfortable silence, arms brushing with every step. The calm surrounding them lasted until Tim’s key was in the lock; the moment the door opened, Tony shoved Tim inside, grabbing the keys as he followed him. Tony closed the door behind him, then they moved towards each other and their mouths met and _god_ , this was what Tony had been needing all day – all _week_ , if he was honest. He was vaguely aware of Tim pushing at his jacket and dropped his arms from where they’d been wrapped around McGee, letting his jacket fall in a heap behind him. 

The next few minutes passed in a blur of lips and hands and dropping clothes, and suddenly Tony found himself in Tim’s bedroom, pants and boxers around his ankles, with Tim similarly attired. They both laughed, sitting on the bed to strip properly, and then he was stretched out on the bed with Tim’s body covering his, and friction in all the right places. 

“How do you want to do this?” Tim asked, leaning down to nibble on his neck.

“Ughn.” Wait, was McGee expecting him to think? Then Tim’s teeth scraped one of his nipples and he arched up, gasping. “Fuck, wait, stop.” Tim looked at him questioningly, and Tony grinned. “Can’t think when you’re doing that.”

Tim leaned in and kissed him hard; all teeth and bruising lips. “Can I fuck you?” he asked, and Tony bit his own lip as his cock pulsed. 

“Fuck, yeah,” he groaned, and Tim smirked. Tony felt Tim’s hand on his cock, stroking twice before withdrawing again. Tony whimpered a little, but Tim just gave him another quick kiss.

“Roll over,” Tim instructed, and Tony instantly did as he was told. He was a little disappointed that he wasn’t gonna get all that attention lavished on him again, but then he’d been following an extremely strict cleaning routine advised on a website he’d found to keep himself clean for this, so he figured with the amount of times his fingers had been up there he was probably more used to it than last time. 

He felt Tim kissing down his spine and expected to hear the snap of the lube, but it never came. Instead, Tim started kneading his ass, before…

“ _Fuck!_ ” he yelled, and heard Tim laugh behind him. Tim had spread his ass, and just like in that porno Tim licked a strip right from his balls to the top of his crack. Tony had barely recovered when Tim started working him in earnest; teeth nipping gently around his hole, tongue flicking and working its way inside. Tony knew he should be pulling away, telling Tim to stop, but it just felt so fucking good. Just like when he’d watched it, he was torn between disgust at the fact that Tim’s tongue was in his ass, and being harder than he’d ever been in his life before because Tim’s _tongue_ was in his _ass_. 

The next moment, however, arousal won out because there was no way Tony could be anywhere near disgusted when Tim was basically fucking his ass with his tongue. He found himself pushing back against Tim’s mouth, making noises he knew he’d be embarrassed about later. Right now, though, he was too busy letting his brain melt out of his ears to care about something so trivial because Tim was adding a finger beside his tongue, licking and slurping around it and….

Tony lost all ability for coherent thought at that point as Tim took his time opening him up. Fingers and tongue for what felt like hours until at long last he heard Tim preparing himself. He braced himself, expecting the first press of cock against tight muscle, but Tim’s hands were on his hips, encouraging him to roll onto his back. He did so, shooting a questioning look at Tim as he did so.

Tim leaned down and kissed him. “Let’s see if all those hours in the gym worked for you, Tony,” Tim said, smirking, and pulled Tony’s legs up. 

Tony knew what Tim was doing; they’d fucked like this during their last weekend together, Tim on his back and legs almost around Tony’s shoulders, panting into each other’s mouths as Tony fucked him hard and slow. He raised his legs as high as they would go, pulling Tim’s head down for a kiss. He felt Tim’s cock pressing against his hole and bit gently at Tim’s mouth at the initial sting. 

Tony wrapped his legs around Tim’s back, arching up as Tim thrust in gently, inch by inch, until Tony could feel Tim’s hipbones against his ass. He reached a hand up to sweep Tim’s hair out of his eyes as he felt his muscles adjusting to the strain. It wasn’t quite as painful as last time, but there was still enough pain that his erection had flagged quite a bit. He reached down to grasp his cock, but Tim quickly slapped his hand away, stroking Tony just the way he liked it. Thank god McGee was a fast learner.

The angle shifted slightly and suddenly Tim was rubbing against his prostate at every thrust and Tony was fighting his eyes rolling back in his head. Tim fucked him slow and deep for what felt like hours, until Tony felt as though they were bound together by sweat and spit. Tony’s voice was hoarse from the noises he made every time Tim hit _that_ spot, and he needed to come so badly he thought he would pass out. But every time he came close, Tim would still, kissing him gently until the need had passed. Tony wondered how Tim knew _exactly_ what buttons to push to drive him crazy, but then Tim’s lips were on his and all he could think was _wet_ and _god_ and _yes_. 

As their kisses grew more frantic so did Tim’s thrusts. Tim began stroking his cock harder and faster, and Tony was almost there… Almost…there….

“Come for me, Tony,” Tim muttered against his lips, and that was _it_. Tony cried out as his head tilted back and his nails dug into the muscles in Tim’s shoulders, coming hard over Tim’s hand and their stomachs. His breath came in harsh pants as the aftershocks of his orgasm pulsed through him, Tim’s thrusts setting off white lights behind his eyes. He lifted his head and, looking Tim in the eye, wiped some of the come off his chest with a finger and sucked it into his mouth. Tim’s eyes went dark and he gasped, neck buried in Tony’s shoulder as he came. 

They lay like that for a while, catching their breath, before Tim became too heavy and Tony had to push him off with a grunt. Tim laughed and pulled out – and it wasn’t just the sting that Tony didn’t enjoy; it was the empty feeling after being so amazingly full. He grumbled slightly, pulling McGee onto his chest after he had disposed of the condom, and pretending to ignore Tim’s laugh. After a few moments, however, he sighed, remembering that he had decided that he and Tim needed to have some kind of conversation about whatever it was between them. Maybe just a quick talk, he reflected, and then they could get back to the sweaty, naked, fun part.

“Hey.” He raised himself up on his elbow and poked Tim in the shoulder.

“What?”

“We need to talk.” And _god_ , Tony felt like a total girl. But the sooner they got this figured out, the sooner he could go back to _not_ being a jealous freak. “I just think we should figure out…I mean, we’re, uh, exclusive, right?”

Tim stared at him, eyebrow raised. “Well, I thought so.”

“And we’re like…” He could see Tim’s lips twitching, and that was just not fair when he was trying to have a serious conversation.

“Tony, why are we having this conversation? I was under the impression that neither of us were girls.” Tony scowled at Tim’s barely concealed grin.

“Okay, so it’s possible that I got really jealous when you were looking on that animal rescue website.”

Tim’s eyebrow almost disappeared under his hair. “You were jealous of a bunch of dogs?”

“No.” 

Realization dawned on Tim’s face, but instead of bursting out laughing as Tony had expected, his expression turned serious. “You thought that I was, what, looking at alternatives?”

Tony shrugged. “I don’t know, Tim. I just know that in the last two weeks we’ve barely talked and then suddenly I get in and you’re talking to Ziva about some ‘him’ that she wants to eat all up. I just….”

“You really thought I’d do that?” There was a look of pure hurt on Tim’s face, and Tony hated that he’d put that there.

“No! Or, I don’t know, Tim. I just don’t know what to think, because I’ve never _been_ in a relationship with another guy before and I don’t know how it works, okay?”

Tim’s expression turned understanding, and he moved so that his arm was over Tony’s side, stroking his back. “It pretty much works like a relationship with a girl, only there’s less sappy romantic stuff and more worry about who you can trust with knowing.” He leaned and kissed Tony gently. “If you don’t want to deal with that kind of hassle, I…I’ll understand, Tony.” Tim wasn’t meeting his eyes, and that just wasn’t good.

“Hey,” he said quietly, but Tim was still staring at the comforter. “ _Hey_ ,” he said again, lifting Tim’s chin and forcing him to look up. “Yeah, it’s gonna be hard. I pretty much guessed that. But I don’t…Tim,” he said, smiling slightly, “I have fairly recently discovered that _all_ long term relationships come with hassles and pitfalls and stuff you’d rather you didn’t have to deal with. But I _want this_ with you, and I can’t say it any clearer than that. I just need to know that you want it too, because right now, I don’t even know what we are. I mean, are we _boyfriends_? Partners, _lovers_ , what?”

“Any of them? All of them?” Tim’s mouth quirked into a smile. “Especially since I kinda want this too.”

Tony pretended to pout. “Only ‘kinda’, Probie? You wound me.” He sighed, moving to lie on his back, and Tim laughed and rolled so he was on top of Tony, straddling his hips.

“All right, I want it a lot,” Tim grinned, swiveling his hips so that his crotch rubbed against Tony’s. Tony groaned, laughing.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, Tim, but I’m not young enough to be up for another round yet.” Even as he spoke, though, he could feel his arousal building, and bit back a moan as Tim moved again. “So I get to call you my boyfriend?” he grinned, bringing his hands down to grasp Tim’s hips before sliding round to his ass. 

Tim gasped, grinding down harder. “R-right now, Tony, I think you could pretty much call me anything you wanted.”

Tony smirked; Tim was already more than half hard, a flush spreading from his cheeks to his chest. He rolled them both over without warning so that he was on top, moving to kiss across Tim’s chest. He opened Tim up slowly, taking his time to nip, kiss and lick every square inch of skin on Tim’s torso. Withdrawing his fingers from Tim’s body, he rolled on a condom and spread more lube on himself.

“Hey, Tony.” Tony looked up, meeting Tim’s gaze. “So we’re gonna do this?”

Tony knew Tim wasn’t talking about just this, this moment, and he laced their fingers together as he pushed in to his lover’s body. “Yeah,” he leaned down to kiss Tim, just the softest brush of lips, before slowly pushing in to the hilt and reveling in the pleasure on Tim’s face. “I think we are.”

***

Going back to work after the weekend was even weirder this time. Last time, although he had been confused about what was happening between Tim and himself, nothing had been definite. They had just been colleagues who had spent the weekend having amazing sex, and then went about their job, occasionally making out in storage closets. Now….

Now they were ‘together’. Boyfriends, lovers, whatever you wanted to call it; they were official, which meant that Tony now had a right to look, and touch, whenever he wanted, while knowing all the time that he couldn’t. It was driving him crazy.

He glanced up and saw Tim bending down to tie his shoelace. He gulped and stared down at his desk, trying to stop himself from staring at Tim’s pants stretched tight around his ass, which would only lead to thoughts of being buried in that ass only fourteen hours before. 

And now he was thinking about it. Fuck.

He concentrated on his computer screen, trying to calm his libido before he had to stand up to put away his notes, otherwise someone was gonna notice something. Ziva came over to give him grief about something, and he concentrated on their banter, trying to avoid glancing over towards Tim every five minutes.

***

By the middle of the week, Tony figured that he was getting used to this whole ‘secretly dating someone from work who happens to be another guy’ thing. He and McGee worked together in pretty much the same way as they always had – with a lot of mocking and teasing and general Tony-ness on his part, and a lot of eye-rolling and slights against intelligence and long-suffering sighs on Tim’s. But every look, every time they stood together, or came into any kind of contact, was completely different. Tony knew that it was only a matter of time before someone noticed; they worked with some of the greatest investigative minds in this country, and his money was on Gibbs knowing already and just biding his time to say something. 

And yet as a week, and then two, passed, Gibbs still hadn’t said anything. Nor had Ziva, Abby, or even Ducky, who would have been Tony’s second favorite for figuring it out first. Tony put it down to the fact that he was still flirting with pretty much every hot girl who came anywhere near him, and he still gave McGee a hard time about, well, everything. But every evening, after work, he went over to Tim’s apartment and stayed until he knew he had to get home or arrive at the office with Tim again and face some awkward questions. Maybe they were being overly paranoid, but it was a risk that neither of them could afford to take. He looked forward to the weekends where they could just lounge around all day at Tim’s: wearing each other out on sweat-soaked sheets; sitting – Tony refused to call it snuggling – on the sofa while they watched movies (Tony called it ‘education’, Tim simply laughed and leaned in closer against Tony’s body); even just lying in bed eating pizza and arguing over who ate the most (it was usually Tony, although he’d deny it until he ran out of breath). 

Tony also found himself getting more and more adventurous with the whole…gay sex thing. The first time he went down on Tim he was pretty nervous; if ‘pretty nervous’ meant ‘terrified’. They had been fooling around on the sofa, and Tony began to move down Tim’s body, kissing and nipping his way to the soft trail of hair leading under his boxers. He felt Tim’s had on the side of his face, angling his face up.

“Hey.” Tim’s expression was serious, but barely masking the lust underneath. “Tony, you don’t have to do that.”

“I know.” Tony leaned forward and mouthed Tim’s erection through his underwear, dampening the fabric with breath and spit. “But I want to.” He pulled Tim’s boxers down and off, and when his lips touched the head of Tim’s cock the needy sound that move elicited make his own cock jerk. 

He sucked the head into his mouth, trying not to wince at the strange taste. Only that morning he had licked Tim’s come from his own hand after sex, so it wasn’t as though he hadn’t been expecting it, but it was still weird. Down here was a definite taste, and smell, and it was still different to what he was used to.

Of course, that didn’t mean that he didn’t like it. As strange as the taste of cock was, it made his mouth water, and he found himself trying to take more of Tim’s cock into his mouth. He could only get so far without gagging, though, and found himself with a new appreciation for those girls who could deep-throat him and make it look effortless. In fact, any girl who could make a blowjob look effortless was pretty good, because it was anything but. Tony found himself getting caught up as he tried to keep his teeth out the way as he sucked, while also attempting to use his tongue the same way Tim had done to him. He was pretty sure he was sucking – no pun intended – at it, but when he looked up he saw Tim biting his lip, moaning, and could feel the slight movement in Tim’s hips as he tried to stop himself from thrusting, so Tony knew he couldn’t be doing too badly.

He brought his right hand up to the base of Tim’s cock and began to jerk what he couldn’t get in his mouth. His left he used to play with Tim’s balls, feeling them draw up as he held them. 

Feeling a hand in his hair, Tony looked up again, into eyes blown wide with lust. “Tony…doing _great_ …gotta pull off…gonna come…” Tim panted, and Tony did as he was told, not quite ready to try swallowing yet. He sat back on his heels and jerked Tim harder, and then Tim was throwing his head back and yelling, come spurting over Tony’s fingers. Wiping his hand on one of the napkins from when they’d ordered pizza, Tony crawled up Tim’s body and straddled him, kissing him leisurely. 

“Was that okay?” he asked, going for ‘cocky’ and managing more ‘extremely nervous and insecure’.

“Fucking hell, Tony,” Tim laughed. “If that was you learning, god knows what you’re going to do to me when you’ve practiced. Not that you need to practice, although I can’t say I’d mind,” he finished, grinning.

Then Tim rolled Tony onto his back and proceeded to suck his brains out through his cock, and Tony gave up on trying to think for a while.

Today, however, was Wednesday, and the weekend felt like a distant memory as Tony watched Gibbs break a suspect who had killed his wife because he’d thought she’d been cheating. She hadn’t been, of course, which made it all the more sad. He walked out the observation room, straight into Tim, who smiled broadly as soon as he saw Tony.

“Hey!” Something of what he was feeling must have shown on his face, because Tim’s smile immediately dropped and his expression turned concerned, bringing a hand up to rest lightly on his hip. Tony glanced around, but they were all alone in the corridor. “Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

Tony, being who he was, tried to play it off. “You mean aside from the fact I haven’t seen you all day?” he teased, hooking a finger into one of Tim’s belt-loops. 

“Tony.” Tim’s voice held a mild warning, and Tony deflated.

“It’s just… Why do people do that? Why do they wake up one morning and say to themselves, ‘Hey, my wife’s cheating, I think I’ll murder her’?” Tony sighed and leaned back against the wall, pulling Tim forward as well, although he kept an ear out for doors opening.

Both of Tim’s hands were on his hips now, just holding; a comforting warmth that seeped into his bones. “I…wish I knew.” Tim leaned in and pressed his forehead against Tony’s, expression understanding. “But some people are just….”

“Oh, my god!” Tony felt as though his heart had stopped at the sound of Abby’s voice. There was no way that she could look at them right now and not know that there was something between them that went beyond colleagues, beyond _friends_. Tim had jumped away from him at the sound of her voice, but Tony knew he hadn’t been quick enough. He wondered if there was enough time for damage control before….

“DiNozzo!”

“Yes, boss!” He hoped he didn’t look too guilty, but Gibbs was giving him that _stare_. It lasted long enough that Tony was convinced that Gibbs knew; that it had been written all over all of their faces when he came out of the interrogation room. But after what was possibly the longest moment of Tony’s life, Gibbs slapped him upside the head. “Ow! What was that for?” he asked before he could help himself.

“Whatever you did to make you look so guilty,” Gibbs said, before turning to Abby. “Abbs, you got something for me?” 

Abby blinked and looked at Gibbs. “Um, yeah, the results were conclusive. We have evidence to back it up; the husband’s definitely our guy.”

Gibbs beamed at her. “Good work, Abbs,” he said, and walked out towards the squad room. The three of them stood there as agents came out of the observation room and took the suspect from the interrogation room, before leading him out through the same door as Gibbs had gone through. 

The silence was almost unbearable by the time Abby finally spoke.

“So does one of you want to tell me what’s been going on?” she asked, her voice steel. Tony fought the urge to run screaming down the hall, but only because he could sense that underneath her anger, Abby was hurt. He had no doubt that it was because they had kept this from her, and he felt a surge of guilt; of all the people on the team, they maybe should have let her in on the secret.

He walked up to her, reaching out to touch her shoulder, but she jerked away from him. “Abby, we…” He sighed, glancing over at Tim. “We should have told you, but we decided not to tell anyone. We should have known that you were the exception.”

“So no-one knows?” she looked very slightly mollified, and Tony nodded.

“No-one but you.” Tony sighed. “Abby, I….”

“So are you two, like, _together_?” she asked, looking at them with what seemed to be part confusion, part amusement, and Tony groaned inwardly.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, sensing Tim come up behind him and automatically turning slightly towards him. 

Abby’s eyes widened as she looked between them. “All right, we need to have a talk about this. Tony, we’re all going to go over to yours tonight.”

“Ziva’ll want to come along if she knows we’re having a gathering.”

Abby frowned for a moment, then smiled. “That’s all right; we can go to Tim’s instead and tell her that he’s ill. She’ll be happy to give that a miss.”

They nodded and followed her out.

***

Two hours later, they were standing in Tim’s apartment in a fairly uncomfortable silence. Abby sat on the sofa primly, before glaring at them both. “All right, talk,” she ordered, and Tony glanced over to Tim, silently pleading with him to explain. Tim nodded and took a deep breath.

“What do you want to know?”

Abby’s eyes widened. “Everything! Well, I mean, not everything, although if you have been using a video camera I wouldn’t mind seeing it, but, y’know…” She trailed off and looked hopefully up at Tony, who gave a look of surprise, before looking over at Tim, slightly panicked. 

Tim smiled weakly. “Okay, um, anyway… You remember when I got shot?” Abby nodded, looking stricken. “Well, uh, Tony brought me home, and then we…uh….”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Jeez, Probie… I kissed him, Abby, and then we decided that it would be a great idea if we were together.”

“But I didn’t know you liked guys, Tony,” she said, eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, that makes two of us,” he laughed, dropping down next to her on the sofa. “You understand why we didn’t tell anyone, right?” he asked, suddenly all seriousness.

She nodded. “I know.” She frowned. “Wait, you didn’t know you liked guys either?”

“Not until Probie over there started giving me ideas.” Tony smirked at Abby, before shooting a look filled with promise at Tim and watching him squirm. 

“Were they good ideas?” Abby asked, her tone pure mischief.

“ _Very_ good ideas,” he smiled, before standing and heading over to Tim, who looked at him questioningly. He grabbed Tim’s shirt and pulled him forward, wrapping his other arm around Tim’s waist. Tim’s eyes widened in realization right before Tony leaned in and began to kiss him. 

“Oh, my god.” This time, Abby’s voice was hushed, and possibly even a little admiring. Tony smirked and pulled back, giving Tim’s lips one last peck. Abby skipped up to them and patted them both on the arm. “Well, guys, congratulations, I hope you’re very happy, but right now I have to go home and think _real hard_ about what you guys will be doing when I leave.” After giving them a chirpy smile, she was gone, leaving both men with their mouths slightly open as they thought about what she meant.

Tony brought a hand up to cup Tim’s cheek. “Hey, are you all right with Abby knowing about us?” 

Tim shrugged, smiling slightly. “Yeah; she’s Abby, y’know? Plus she already knew that I liked guys, and although I didn’t tell her that I had a thing for you I think she suspected.”

Tony nodded, eyes slightly narrowed. “She does tend to know about these things.” He backed Tim against the wall, loving the way that Tim’s head fell back and his eyelids went to half mast as Tony pressed against him just…like… _that_. “So how about we continue this in your room and give Abby something to _think_ about?” he muttered against Tim’s ear, laughing when Tim pushed him away and proceeded to drag him towards the bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day they arrived together; Tony had decided that with the kind of day they’d both had they deserved to bend the rules a little, and had stayed the night. The morning was quiet and, for once, Tony enjoyed it, content to write up some notes and sneak glances at Tim from time to time. The only damper on the day was when, coming up in the elevator, he overheard a conversation which he’d rather not have heard. Ever. There had been a rumor going around for a few days that Abby had been offered a job somewhere else, but Tony hadn’t paid any attention. Rumors like that went around all the time. But then:

“So did you hear?” Tony thought he might recognize one of the giggling blondes in front of him from H.R., but he wasn’t sure. The one talking was kind of cute, but he found himself almost totally unmoved. He wondered briefly what the hell Probie had done to him, when the blonde spoke again. “You know Abby down in forensics? I heard she got a job offer.”

“No way!” The other girl sounded as though she was enjoying the news far too much, and Tony bristled slightly.

“She did! I heard some corporate headhunter took her to the Ritz Carlton for drinks, so it must be a pretty big company. Big bucks, too.”

“Do you think she’ll take it?”

“God, I would! A private sector company who can afford to got the extra mile?” The elevator doors opened and Tony cussed inwardly when he realized that it was his floor. He considered asking if she knew what company it was with, but decided against it, since that would mean that he had been eavesdropping and was more likely to get glared at than given any more information.

Instead, he smiled at them, before heading out of the elevator towards his desk, wondering if Abby could really think about leaving them. 

He had almost forgotten about this and was just thinking about getting Tim to take him to lunch – and maybe find somewhere quiet where he could push Tim up against a wall and kiss him breathless – when Gibbs hung up the phone and took his gun from his drawer.

“Grab your gear; we got a jumper,” Gibbs ordered as he walked past. “You three gas the truck, I’m taking the car.” 

“On it, boss,” Tony said, and they all followed Gibbs to the elevator. So much for a quiet day.

***

“I don’t think Gibbs knows.” Tim said, turning back to the truck after watching Gibbs walk away with the cop.

“Not gonna hear it from me,” Tony said matter-of-factly as he put in his earpiece.

“Not going to hear what from you?” Ziva asked.

“Abby may have gotten a job offer,” Tim replied and, as Ziva ‘Ooh’-ed in interest, Tony supplied some details.

“Big bucks.”

“ _Allegedly_ ,” Tim interjected, but Tony ignored him.

“Private sector.”

“Still just a rumor, Tony.” And of course, they hadn’t had a chance to talk since he’d overheard that conversation, so Tim didn’t know yet.

“Not any more, Probie-san. Someone from Human Resources told a friend-of-a-friend that Abby had cocktails last night at the Ritz Carlton…with a corporate head-hunter,” he said, trying to talk as much to Ziva as he was to Tim and well aware of the fact that he was only vaguely successful. Fortunately, Ziva didn’t seem to notice.

“And this friend told you.” She sounded dubious and Tony looked sheepish.

“Not exactly; I overheard it in the elevator.” He looked up at Tim saw the probie looking at him with heat in his gaze. Knowing that he needed to stay focused, and not let anything distract him – up to and including irresistible Probies – he gave Tim a sidelong glance and a quick smile before turning his attention back to Ziva as she spoke.

“Ha! Very reliable source. Abby was probably on a date.”

“Abby on a date at the Ritz Carlton?” Tim’s voice held pretty much all the incredulity that Tony was feeling at the idea.

“Strictly business time, Ziva,” Tony was suddenly aware that he and Tim were walking too closely together to allow Ziva to walk between them, but as Ziva didn’t seem to notice – or mind – he didn’t bother to move.

“Did they say which business?” 

“Well, the elevator reached my floor; had to get off,” Tony said sheepishly, stopping with the others to stare up the building at the man standing on the roof.

“Ohh, that’s a long way up,” Tim’s voice had a slight tremor in it, and Tony couldn’t help but sympathize.

“Long way _down_ ,” he added as they walked towards the stairs. God, he _really_ was not too happy about heights in general, but this was a pretty high height. He found himself moving a little closer to Tim almost automatically, but whether to give some kind of comfort or receive it, he wasn’t sure.

They followed Gibbs up to the roof, and Tony – in case anyone had seen him standing too close to Tim he was babbling nervously without thinking it through first, and wasn’t that really just the story of his life? – began to tell Gibbs how to handle the jumper. It wasn’t until Gibbs turned round and gave him a _look_ that Tony realized what he’d been saying.

As Gibbs went round the corner, Tim shot him a look which he could only describe as ‘fond exasperation’, which come to think of it was pretty much the same look he’d been shooting Tony for years. Except now, Tony could see it for what it was, and it made him feel a little warm and fuzzy inside. Then Gibbs came back and Tim had an idea of snapping a photo with his phone and emailing it to Abby to get an I.D., which Tony was annoyed he hadn’t thought of himself.

“Do it,” Gibbs said, and Tony could feel Tim’s whole body go rigid, and he didn’t look to happy. 

“Me?” Tim said, voice filled with horror.

“It’s your idea, McGee.” Gibbs had that voice on, the one that defied argument, and Tim went pale. It was not only a brilliant excuse to mock Tim, but he was so cute right now it was unbelievable. Tony bit his lip unconsciously, wishing that Gibbs and Ziva were anywhere but here so that he could push Tim up against the nearest available surface and do unspeakable things to him. He didn’t even try to hide his smile, although he did attempt to show his support by shooting Gibbs a ‘Come on, boss’ look. Gibbs didn’t notice, though, and Tim went over to the ladder on the side of the stairwell. 

Tony grabbed his own phone out of his pocket as they all stared incredulously at McGee trying to climb the ladder. He decided that taking a video wasn’t mean unless he showed other people, and he didn’t plan on doing that. He just planned on threatening to at an opportune moment. 

Tim barely lasted twenty seconds before he had to ask Gibbs for help.

“I’m not very good with heights,” Tim told Gibbs, and Tony rolled his eyes, since they could all pretty much see that, thanks. Gibbs took the phone from Tim and leaned over to snap the photo. As soon as Tim had the phone back he climbed back down off the ladder and, as much as Tony wanted to see if he was all right, he knew that Ziva would never buy that something wasn’t up between them if he didn’t mock Tim. 

Now, however, was not the time for that, since they still had to get this guy down. He watched McGee email the photo to Abby, before making sure that Ziva’s attention was elsewhere and mouthing “Are you okay?” to Tim. When Tim nodded, giving him a weak smile, Tony smiled back quickly before Ziva could rejoin him.

“McGee, he’s got a gun!” Abby said into the earpiece, and Tony immediately went into full agent mode, motioning for Ziva to go to one side of the jumper while he went to the other. It came as no surprise to Tony that Gibbs already knew about this, nor did it come as a surprise when Gibbs moved to stop them from shooting the jumper – Michael, Tim had said his name was – even though the kid had pulled a gun on him. It was all part of what made Gibbs such a great agent. He did breathe quite a bit easier when Arnett dropped the gun, before making his way slowly towards Gibbs.

When the shot came, Tony had a moment of panic where he thought that it had hit Gibbs as well. But then he saw the boss trying to grab on to Arnett’s hand, and he watched helplessly as the young man fell to the ground.

***

Their initial investigation of the rooftops and witness statements seemed pointless, and Tony was feeling more than a little jumpy. He decided the best way to get through it was to tease Tim.

“Color back now that you’re on terra firma there, Probalicious?” he goaded, knowing that Ziva would have no reason to know that just that weekend Tony had used that particular nickname teasingly while buried balls deep in McGee. 

Tim’s gaze went hot for a split second before he pouted. “Hey, I would have done it!”

“Only, uh…you _didn’t_.” And now that Tim was safe on the ground, this really would be fuel for mocking for at _least_ three weeks.

“I think he’s more afraid of heights than you are,” Ziva said, looking slightly smug. Damned Mossad agents with no fear.

“Please, I rock climbed,” Tony said defensively, frowning when Ziva laughed.

“Yeah, twenty feet with a harness to impress a _girl_.” She made a good point, but this was something that Tony would rather not have been reminded of right now. But still, in all fairness….

“Well, it worked,” Tony countered, wondering how much this conversation was getting to Tim. God only knew that Tony never enjoyed when people he was sleeping with talked about their exes. “All right, since Ziva and I have to go and check out Arnett’s apartment, Probie, you go back with Gibbs and see if you can find anything on Arnett.”

Tim nodded, and Tony and Ziva jumped into the truck.

***

When they got back to headquarters, Tony offered to take the evidence down to Abby, and Ziva thanked him, making her way back to the squad room. When he got down to the lab Abby leaped at him, squashing him in a hug.

“Oh, my god, Tony, I watched the whole thing on the news and it was _so_ scary! What if one of you had been shot?” 

Tony hugged her back. “Hey, Abs. You seen Gibbs and Probie already?”

Abby whacked him on the arm and he yelped. “Tony! Stop calling Tim ‘Probie’, you know he doesn’t like it!” She lowered her voice to a hiss. “And if you two are… y’know…you should take his feelings into consideration!”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Abby, c’mon. We’re not girls; we’re _always_ gonna rag on each other.” He frowned. “I was a bit worried about him today, though. Has he always been scared of heights?” 

“Um, I don’t know,” Abby said, confused. “Why? What did he say?”

“Okay, I’m only telling you this because I know you care, but this is a very sensitive subject and I don’t want him knowing that I told you, okay?” Abby nodded. “When we were on the roof, Gibbs told him to take a photo of the jumper. Tim…he freaked out. Climbed a little bit up the ladder and then couldn’t move.” Tony shrugged. “It would have been funny if it wasn’t so worrying. I mean, what if something happened, and he ended up somewhere really high but couldn’t cope and got dizzy and fell?” 

Abby beamed at him. “Oh, Tony, you really do care about him!”

“So not the point here, Abs.”

“Sorry.” At least she looked a little contrite, and Tony gave her a small smile. “Look, he’ll be okay. He’s Tim. He’s always okay.” She looked pointedly at the bags in his hand. “Is that evidence for me?”

“Oh, yeah.” He handed it over. “Could you please run a DNA test on the toothbrush against the National Database of Felons?”

“Okay, whose is it?”

“The wife’s,” Tony grinned.

Abby’s eyes lit up. “Ooh, do you think the wife did it?” 

Tony shrugged. “Don’t know, but it usually is.” He kissed Abby on the cheek and smiled. “Thanks, Abs. For everything.” She smiled at him and he almost asked her about the job offer, but decided it would probably be a bad idea. Instead, he pulled one of her pony-tails and headed back to the squad room. 

***

Tony had been hoping for at least five minutes alone with Tim so that he could apologize for telling Abby about his fear of heights, but there was no such luck. Gibbs took him up to MTAC, and then straight out from there. Tim barely even looked at him, leaving Tony wondering if he’d actually screwed up properly this time.

When they came back, Tony was bored. He had nothing to do but wait for the results of the tests Abby was doing and he was annoyed at both Abby and Tim for not talking to him about stuff. Of course, he could only talk about one of those things with Ziva, and he could tell that she was getting bored of his whining. But neither Gibbs nor Tim looked at him when they arrived, simply going to their desks and checking stuff on the computer. When Tim announced that he was going to check out some doctor, however, and Gibbs told him to go with, Tony replied, trying to keep the glee out of his voice, “With him, boss.”

They walked down to the car, Tony fully aware that Tim was still pissed at him. “You know I only said something to Abby because I was worried, right?” he said tentatively.

Tim snorted. “Of course, Tony. It couldn’t just have been another opportunity to make me look stupid.”

Tony felt like he’d been slapped and stopped walking. “I can’t believe that you’d say that to me,” he said quietly, staring at Tim as he turned around. “I can’t believe that after everything we’ve been through, everything we…Jeez, McGee, you really have a low opinion of how I treat people I care about, don’t you?” He didn’t even bother to try and hide how hurt he was before stalking towards the car, pulling open the door and sliding into his seat. He waited until Tim got in before starting the car, and he drove out of the lot. They drove in silence for about ten minutes before Tim spoke. 

“Tony…” 

“Look, whatever, Tim.” Tony was surprised at just how much Tim’s opinion of him stung him. “If you don’t want to…I’m sure you don’t want to be with someone you think could do that to you.” He tried to keep his voice neutral, but he heard the cracks.

“Tony, pull over.” He did so, driving on to a side road before killing the engine. He wouldn’t – _couldn’t_ – look at Tim and see the rejection there. But then he felt Tim’s hand on his cheek, forcing him to turn his head. “God, Tony, I…I’m sorry, okay? It’s just that it’s a bit of a sore subject; I was out in the field and I _choked_.”

“You didn’t choke, Tim. You can’t help what you’re scared of.” He brought his own hand up to stroke Tim’s cheek. “I’m not gonna stop giving you a hard time about this stuff. Just like you shouldn’t stop giving me a hard time about stuff. Out there? That’s who we are.” He leaned in closer, nuzzling the side of Tim’s face. “But in here? And what I said to Abby? I was _worried_ , Tim. About what might happen if you found yourself on some precarious ledge somewhere and got dizzy, or… I don’t want you to get hurt, okay?” 

Tim looked at him for a second, and then their lips met. When they finally broke apart, Tim leaned his forehead against Tony’s. “This is never going to be easy, is it?” he laughed.

Tony pulled back and started the car again, grinning. “Of course not, Probie. Where would the fun be?”

***

By the time they got to the doctor’s office, Tony felt as though the air had cleared between them. So much so, that he started teasing Tim about it again. Although he could sense Tim’s exasperation, he knew that McGee was no longer taking it badly, especially when he started to banter back about it.

When Tony brought out his phone, though, he expected more of a reaction than he got. Tim seemed almost completely unconcerned; that is, until Tony threatened to post it on YouTube. Thinking that Tim would just make a grab for the phone and then give him one of those looks which was meant to make Tony feel guilty (but instead had recently just been making him ridiculously hot), and so was taken by surprise when Tim leaped on him instead and tried to wrestle it from him. Tony kept the phone at arm’s length, enjoying the feel of Tim writhing behind him – and yeah, okay, maybe that was because he was trying to grab the phone, but Tony’s libido was translating it another way, thank-you-very-much, and was pretty happy with the situation – when suddenly he heard the doctor behind them. 

They both turned, Tim’s leg thrown over Tony’s body and his hand gripping Tony’s arm, and the doctor tutted at them.

“You two have much deeper issues than we discussed on the phone,” the doctor began, and Tony blinked.

“The phone…” he echoed, glancing at his own.

“Aren’t you the couple who called up about marriage counseling?” Tony shot a look at Tim, who was staring at the doctor in horror. Tony could practically hear Tim’s panicked thoughts that if the doctor had figured out they were together, who else would? 

“Couple? Us? No, no…” Tim was practically squeaking, and Tony grinned, reaching round and grabbing Tim’s thigh as he tried to get away.

“It’s okay, Timmy; Timmy, we’re in a safe place. We can be ourselves here.” He tried not to chuckle as Tim struggled to move away. “We just got back from Vermont,” he said to the doctor just as Tim managed to escape. “Pretty this time of year….”

Tim shot him a glare before reaching for his badge. “Sorry. NCIS; Special Agents McGee, DiNozzo.”

Tony stood, trying desperately not to laugh. “Very special agents,” he added, and almost lost it at the look on the doc’s face.

***

“Oh, my god, Tony. One day? I am going to _kill you_ for pulling one of your stupid stunts.”

Tony sighed. He thought he’d at least get back to the car before they had this discussion. “Hey, you were the one who decided to try and wrestle me. Which, by the way, I am so not complaining about.” He shot Tim a sly look. “When this case is over, how about you do it again in more comfortable – and private – surroundings, huh?”

Tim laughed. “Is sex _all_ you think about?” he teased as they got into the car. 

“Not all I think about.” Tony grinned. “But it certainly makes up a lot of it. In fact,” he dropped his voice to a husky whisper, “if it wasn’t extremely unprofessional, I’d drive us somewhere secluded right now and bend you over the hood of the car before we went back to headquarters.” Tim bit his lip and Tony squashed the urge to chase those teeth with his tongue. “But, since it is, I guess we’ll just have to wait until the case is over.” 

There was a moment of silence, and then: “Tony. You do realize what time it is, don’t you?”

Tony glanced at the clock on the dash; it was almost eight. “It’s… kinda late.”

“It is. And Ziva just text messaged me to tell me that Gibbs sent her home, and that we weren’t expected in until tomorrow morning.”

“Really.” Tony grinned at Tim. “Your place or mine?” 

***

They ended up back at Tim’s – Tony figured that it would look pretty suspicious if they turned up together two days running, so he figured it would be best if he went home later – after a quick stop at headquarters to drop of the car they’d taken and pick up Tony’s. The moment they were in the door they were on each other, tearing at clothes and biting at each other’s mouths. When they were both naked they only just made it to the bedroom before Tim pushed Tony down and practically swallowed his cock. Tony moaned as Tim sucked him, spreading his legs wider when he felt slick fingers pressing at his hole. 

Tony bit his lip and tried to think about football, the names of presidents; anything to distract himself from needing to come, and come _now_. But he had been too worked up from the ride back, and Tim was doing something ingenious with his tongue… Then Tim’s fingers pressed on _that_ spot and that was it. He came hard, nails digging into Tim’s shoulder and voice hoarse from yelling. 

He panted, trying to get his breath back as Tim licked him clean and kissed his way up Tony’s chest, fingers still buried in Tony’s ass. “Do you know what I’m going to do?” Tim asked, nipping at Tony’s chin.

“Kill me with sex?” Tony asked breathlessly, flexing his muscles around Tim’s fingers.

Tim laughed, low and soft, in his ear. “Hmm, maybe. I’m going to fuck you with my fingers and suck you until you’re hard again, and then I’m going to fuck you until neither of us can see straight.”

“I think you might be overestimating your abilities, Probie.”

“Is that a challenge?” Tim’s expression was mischievous, and Tony wondered just what he’d started. 

Then Tim’s fingers were moving again, rubbing against that sensitive nub inside him over and over, sending sparks of pleasure up his spine. He pulled Tim’s head down and kissed him roughly, tongues licking and teeth scraping, as Tim shifted his weight onto his knees and started using his other hand to stroke Tony’s cock. 

“Tim,” Tony groaned in protest, but was amazed when he could feel his cock start to fill. “God, how can you do this to me?” he gasped; he hadn’t been able to get hard again that quickly since he was a teenager, and he wasn’t sure what magic Tim was working on his cock but _fuck_ , he wasn’t sure if he could survive. Then Tim slid down his body and began sucking kisses up the shaft of his cock until Tony felt as though he would die from the stimulation on his already over-sensitive flesh. Before long Tony was more than half hard and begging. 

Tony felt Tim’s fingers withdraw and whimpermoaned at the loss. Then Tim’s mouth was back on his and Tim’s cock was pushing in slowly and _fuck_ , this got better every time. He lifted his legs to wrap around Tim’s back and pulled him closer, feeling his muscles adjust to the strain.

“You good?” Tim muttered between kisses.

“Yeah,” he groaned. He looked up at Tim, licking his lips. “Now fuck me, Probie.”

Tim growled. “Don’t call me that,” he bit out, and started fucking Tony hard, almost completely pulling out before slamming back in. They hadn’t done this many times with Tony on the bottom, and every other time Tim had taken it slow. This time, Tim was fucking him so hard that Tony was certain that he’d been feeling it for days, and it was _amazing_. 

He dug his fingernails into Tim’s back, not so much urging him on as trying to ground himself. Tim’s hand was on his cock, although he wasn’t sure when that had happened, and he fought the urge to just let his eyes roll back in his head. He started lifting his hips up to meet Tim’s thrusts and _holymotherofgod_ … All it took was another two strokes and he was coming for what felt like forever. He was vaguely aware of Tim going rigid and groaning as he came, but Tony was too blissed out to do anything but make small moaning noises as Tim pulled out and nuzzled his shoulder.

“You okay, Tony?” Tim sounded worried. “I didn’t mean to be that rough, I _swear_.”

Tony swallowed before attempting to speak. “Tim,” he said, his voice huskier than he had ever heard it. “If you _ever_ try to apologize for that I will have to shoot you. Now would you please set your alarm for two hours from now, because if I don’t get some sleep I will keel over and crash the car because you wore me out.” He leaned over and captured Tim’s mouth in a kiss. “And I enjoyed every second of it.” 

Tim smiled at him, and the emotions behind it made Tony’s breath catch in his throat. No-one had looked at him like that since Jeanne, and Tony…Tony was afraid of what it might mean. He squashed the urge to run screaming from the bed; instead, he pulled Tim closer, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck as Tony felt him drift off to sleep. 

Tony lay awake until the alarm rang and he had to leave to go back to his own apartment.

***

The next morning, Tony woke up aching in all the right places. He hummed happily to himself until the end of the evening came back to him, and he felt like an utter tool. Tim cared for him - _really_ cared for him, despite knowing Tony’s background far too well. Tim was willing to put up with most of his shit, which few people ever were. And then last night, when Tim had pretty much bared every feeling he had about Tony, he had ignored it and run off like some kind of coward. Tony wasn’t even sure if Tim had realized what he’d revealed in that one look, but he still felt like a total shit. 

When he got to work he ended up in the elevator with Ziva, who informed him that she’d discovered more about the job offer Abby had been given. Hoping that such an obscene amount of money plus perks wouldn’t be enough to tempt Abby away from NCIS he made a flip remark about the company car she’d been offered, and got to the squad room to discover some pretty hot chick he didn’t recognize standing in front of Tim, who immediately introduced her. Refusing to get jealous over some newbie he made up his mind to be extra friendly so as not to arouse suspicion. Instead of going over to his own desk after the introductions, however, he walked over to lean on the partition next to Tim’s desk, surreptitiously stroking the back of Tim’s neck as he walked past. Tim glanced at him briefly, with a look that had him fighting an untimely erection, before getting back to working on whatever-it-was on his computer.

When Agent Jardine started obsessively cleaning the desk next to Tim’s, distracting Tony from informing Gibbs what he and Ziva had dug up the previous day while Gibbs and Tim had been at the Pentagon, he saw a golden opportunity to torment someone other than Tim for a while. As he wandered back to his desk, he thought that the spray of bottled water along with his sneeze had been a touch of genius.

***

Ziva was right, Tony mused as Jardine gave her summary of why she thought Arnett had been the mole. He was afraid of commitment; terrified, in fact, and with good reason. The last time he’d been remotely committed to someone, she had left him swearing that she would never come back. And although he and Tim had decided that they were a couple, Tony knew that he was still holding back a little from them fully being _together_. He still couldn’t help using a verbal slip Tim made as an excuse to stand close enough to touch, though, and wondered if this was what people talked about when they were together. It almost felt like what he’d had with Jeanne, only there had always been a sense that he wasn’t really with her, because she’d never known who he was until the end. Not to mention that he hadn’t had quite this much trouble staying out of her personal space as he did with Tim.

As Gibbs yelled at them to stop arguing and start bringing him results, Tony looked at Tim’s flushed face and wondered what the hell he’d gotten himself into.

***

There was no time to talk to Tim after the scene in the lab until they were in the parking garage.

“What was that smirk about?” Tony asked somewhat breathlessly as they ran. He really needed to start going back to the gym more often.

“What smirk?” 

“That smirk when Abby headslapped me!”

Tony could sense Tim’s huff of exasperation as much as hear it. “It was funny, Tony. You would have laughed if it had been me.”

“Yeah, well.” They ran in silence for a while, and then Tony brought up what had been bugging him for the past half hour. “Do you really think that we were that unappreciative of Abby?”

Tim shrugged. “Probably; we do take her for granted a lot. But Tony, can we talk about this some other time? Like, preferably _not_ when we’re trying to catch a felon?”

“Sure,” Tony agreed. They split up at level nine to look for Dana Arnett, and although it was possible that she’d already left, Tony had a feeling in his gut that she was still here, and like Gibbs had learned to trust it. 

He was watching a car pass Gibbs and Ziva when he was proved right in the worst possible way; hanging from the top floor of a parking garage was not Tony’s idea of a fun evening. 

“Boss!” he yelled in panic, hoping that the echo would carry his voice, and a moment later heard some kind of siren. He tried not to move, concentrating only on clinging on to the side. He thanked anyone who was up there listening that he’d spent a fair amount of time in his life building up his upper body strength, because if he wasn’t rescued soon….

“Probie!” And god, he knew Tim would kill him for that, if he wasn’t already dead, and oh god oh god he really didn’t want to die right now. “This is not how I want it to end,” he yelled, and oh thank god, Tim’s voice came from somewhere above him.

“Hang on, Tony, I’m coming!” Tony held on as tightly as he could and prayed, no longer caring that an Al Qaeda operative was possibly escaping, the only thought in his mind that he did _not want to die_. He vaguely heard tires screeching somewhere below him, and then there were familiar hands on his, and Tim was there, pulling him up.

As they slumped down the wall together, Tony blurted out, “I love you, McGee.” He instantly cursed himself for his choice of words, deliberately not looking Tim in the eye. “I promise never to give you a hard time again,” he said quickly, trying to cover up his mistake.

“Yeah, right,” Tim said, but Tony couldn’t tell if he’d picked up on what had been said before. They just sat there, Tony trying to absorb warmth from Tim’s body and calm his own racing heartbeat, until Ziva came up and found them. She immediately launched herself at him as he stood and he hugged her back, giving her a reassuring smile as he backed off. Together, they made their way down to where Gibbs sat in the car with Dana Arnett in the back. Tony was amazed his legs took him that far, because he was pretty sure that in a moment he was just gonna drop to the floor and stay there. But then strong hands were helping him into the car and he shot a grateful smile at Tim before buckling himself in.

***

That evening, Ziva offered to drive him home, guessing – correctly – that Tony was in no fit state to drive home. Tim immediately stepped in and said that he would drive him instead, if Tony would trust him with his car. 

“But how will you get home?” Ziva asked matter-of-factly, and Tony jumped in.

“I have a guest bedroom if you want, McGee.” He tried to make it sound casual, but he couldn’t help the slight hopeful look that he shot Tim.

“Sounds good; my neighbors have been total nightmares recently, it’ll be a good excuse to get out the house for an evening.” Since Tony had been round there pretty much every night this week he knew that this was a total lie, but props to the Probie for being able to lie to Ziva convincingly, because she merely nodded and wished them a good night before leaving. 

The drive home was quiet, but Tony was reassured by the fact that Tim’s hand kept finding his thigh every few minutes and squeezing, as if to prove to himself that Tony was still there. As soon as they were up in the apartment, Tim was all over him, hands stroking everywhere.

“God, Tony, I thought I’d lose you for a minute there, thought you were going to fall and I wasn’t going to get there in time,” Tim babbled, and Tony kissed him to quiet him. 

“Hey, I’m okay, I’m okay.” He could feel Tim shaking against him and held him close. “I’m not going anywhere.” They stood for a moment, and Tony suddenly realized that he’d been making things so complicated by being scared of really being with someone, when it was all so simple.

“I meant what I said, you know,” he said quietly.

“Meant what?” Tim’s tone was unconcerned, but Tony could see the wariness in his eyes.

“I…” Tony took a deep breath, steeling his resolve. “I think that I may have fallen in love with you,” he said in a rush, staring at his shoes. “And I’m not entirely sure what to do with that.”

Then Tim’s lips were on his, kissing him gently. “Thank god for that, Tony,” Tim said, smiling softly. “I was starting to wonder if you’d ever catch up.” His smile turned slightly mocking. “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve kinda been in love with you for a while.”

Tony couldn’t express the feeling that bubbled up inside his chest at Tim’s admission; there were so many emotions that he couldn’t define. 

“You know that I’m not good at this kind of thing, right?” he warned. “Honestly, even this is killing me.”

“I know,” Tim smiled. “I know you, Tony. I’ve known you for four and a half years. I’m honestly amazed we’ve even managed to get this far, especially after what happened with Jeanne.” He cupped Tony’s cheek in his hand. “But right now I just want you to take me to bed and fuck me until we both forget what happened in that parking garage.” 

Tony nodded and led Tim through to his bedroom. He knew that by tomorrow morning he would probably regret ever using the ‘l’ word, but right now he was with someone he cared for, and who cared for him right back, and somehow that was all that mattered.


	6. Chapter 6

_Epilogue_

When Tony had first split up with Jeanne, he had imagined seeing her again; what he would say, what he would do, how she would react. Mostly, it involved her forgiving him and promising that she still loved him, with a white-picket-fence happily-ever-after. What he hadn’t expected was for the feelings he’d had to be almost totally gone. He still felt something, of course – he had been so, so in love with her, and those kinds of feelings don’t just disappear, even after this long. But mostly, what he felt was sadness that it had ended so badly, that he had hurt her so much. 

He couldn’t be angry at her for accusing him of murdering her father. It wasn’t exactly a nice thing for her to do, but then, considering what he’d done to her he figured he deserved it. There was so much that he wanted to say to her: that he was sorry, that he hoped that she would be happy, that she would find someone just like he had. Not that his relationship with Tim wasn’t without its pitfalls – Abby and Ducky were the only ones who knew about it. (Ducky had covered for them with Gibbs two months ago in response to a pleading look from Tony, and of course they’d had to explain straight after. Ducky’s lips had twitched in amusement, but he had declared that he was happy that they were happy, but for God’s sake be more careful because they knew what Gibbs was like with his rules.) Still, he was happier than he’d been in a long time, and he knew that his (his!) geeky little Probie had a lot to do with that.

So when Ziva had told him to go after her, and tell her what she needed to hear, he knew exactly what to do. It would hurt both of them, but in the long run it would be better for her to think that it had never been real for him. Still, her expression made him feel like the worst person ever, and he had to stand by the elevator for a few moments to gather his thoughts before returning to the squad room. 

When he got back to his desk, he glanced over at Tim to reassure himself, but Tim wasn’t looking at him. Tim then proceeded to not look at him for the next few hours, and Tony was starting to worry. He couldn’t think of anything that he’d done that would piss Tim off that much, and he couldn’t just let it lie. The thought that after everything, and at this stage in their relationship, that Tim might be this mad at him for something left Tony feeling seriously uncomfortable. There was too much paperwork to be done to talk to Tim right at that moment, though, so Tony had to wait impatiently until Gibbs called it a day. 

Finally, they were done, and Tony figured they could get whatever it was sorted out, but Tim left without a word to him. Stunned, Tony stared at Tim’s retreating form, watching him walk into the elevator with Ziva. 

“Well?” 

Tony looked up to see Gibbs standing in front of his desk, eyebrows raised. “Well what?”

Gibbs sighed, looking exasperated. “Aren’t you going to go after him to ask what’s wrong?”

Tony froze as he looked at Gibbs, realizing suddenly that Gibbs knew all about his and Tim’s relationship. Had probably known for quite a while, in fact, and why was he surprised? This was _Gibbs_ , after all.

“Uhhh…” he managed, and Gibbs rolled his eyes, coming around to perch on the edge of Tony’s desk. 

“Tony. You need to go after him and sort out whatever’s wrong, before you can’t fix it any more.”

“So, um, you know?”

“I know.” Gibbs was still staring, but Tony could see the hint of a smile. “And although you know I don’t approve of colleagues dating-”

“Rule number twelve,” Tony interjected, but Gibbs ignored him.

“-I think that you and Tim are good for each other. And it hasn’t affected your work at all. I think if you don’t sort this out, though, it might affect both of you.” The look Gibbs gave him was stern, and Tony hopped to his feet, grabbing his bag and jacket.

“Gotcha, boss.” Gibbs nodded and started to walk towards his own desk, turning back when Tony called his name. “Um. Thanks, boss.” 

Gibbs just smiled and nodded, and Tony raced towards the elevator, hoping that he wasn’t too late to catch up.

Fortunately, Tim was still waiting at the bus stop when Tony drove past, and he pulled up. Tim ignored him, but Tony’d had enough. He got out of the car and walked over to where Tim stood alone, arms crossed, his whole posture defensive.

“So,” Tony said conversationally. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Tim bit out, and Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing to me. You leave without a word, won’t even get in the car with me.” Tony heard his voice waver, and took a deep breath. “Did I…did I do something? Because whatever it was, I’ll fix it, I swear, just, please, Tim. Don’t shut me out.”

Tim scrubbed a hand down his face, sighing. “Look, Tony, I just. I don’t want to do this right now, okay?”

“Do _what_ right now?” Tony asked, more than a little anxious and confused. “What are we going to be doing, Tim? What’s wrong?”

“You! This, us!” Tim yelled suddenly, and Tony felt like his heart had just cracked.

“Oh. Okay.” He began to walk towards the car, but Tim’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“No, Tony, wait. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it?” Tony asked, staring at the ground.

“I mean. Jeanne.”

Tony looked up in surprise. “What about her?”

“I saw your face when you went to talk to her. Look, if you still have feelings for her, could you just let me know now? I’d rather get it over with.” Tim’s face was a picture of abject misery, and Tony swallowed a lump in his throat. 

“Tim, oh god. No.” Striding up to his boyfriend, Tony brought his hands up to Tim’s face, cupping his cheeks tenderly. “Not even close.”

“But Tony…you _love_ her, I know you do. And if you want to go back to her, I’ll…I’ll understand.”

“Do you want me to go back to her?” Tony asked, his voice catching.

Tim said nothing for a moment, just long enough to panic Tony. But then Tim shook his head. “Of course not, Tony! I love you, you know that. But I don’t want you to stay with me if you’re in love with somebody else.”

“Oh, god, Tim.” Tony leaned his forehead against Tim’s, one hand slipping around to cup the back of Tim’s head. “I’m not. Don’t you get it yet? We’ve been together for six months, now. You should know by now how much I love you, and how much I am _not_ going to leave you for someone I don’t even have those kinds of feelings for any more. Yes, I loved Jeanne. Yes, seeing her today was hard. But not because I still love her. Because I love _you_ , okay?” Tim nodded, his eyes closed, and Tony kissed him quickly, not really caring who saw them. “Besides,” he said, grinning, “Gibbs said we had to work it out or he’d kick my ass.”

Tim’s eyes flew open. “Gibbs knows?” 

“Apparently he’s known for a while.”

Tim laughed, and Tony couldn’t help but smile. “And he doesn’t want to kill us?”

“Nope. He said it hasn’t affected our work so far, so although in general he still disagrees with it, he’s okay with it. I think he might still give us a hard time, though.”

“Wouldn’t be Gibbs if he didn’t,” Tim said dryly.

“You got that right.” Tony laughed. “So. Will you come home with me? Please?”

Tim nodded, and Tony only just managed to stop himself from grinning like a maniac. He walked towards the car, and when he turned and saw the look on Tim’s face, he knew that this was all he had ever wanted.


End file.
